The Two Shall Become One Flesh

I just wanted to follow up on the last blog, and share the reasons why I started thinking about these things. Right after the phrase "bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" is introduced in Genesis 2, the author writes, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Gen. 2:24 ESV).

This shows that the situation described of the first couple is also prescribed to every married couple. This is what God commands of a marriage: two becoming become one.

The Practical Side:

Lately, I've been spending a lot of time working on Christmas presents with Julie. Usually if I'm working on stuff on my computer or wasting time on facebook, I am doing things that we don't partake in together. For the last six weeks though, the vast majority of our free time has been spent together as we have been creating stuff or coming up with ideas or buying things or wrapping gifts. It has been really great and got me thinking about how I like this time of year because it's so busy.

The reason I like being busy is because we are doing a lot together. I don't like the busyness itself, but I love that I am forced to do things with her, which I should usually be doing anyway.

I want to find ways where my things and hobbies and ministries can become ours, and where her things and hobbies and ministries can become ours.

Julie was pointing out a few months ago that we still have "my car" and "your truck," and we still even think of our computers or furniture as "yours" or "mine," when really we legally co-own all of it, and we want to work on thinking of our stuff and time that way.

Why does any of this matter anyway? - The Theological Side

This is all incredibly significant, not just practical.

The idea of two becoming one is meant to symbolize the Trinity. Just as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are individual persons but one God, in a marriage we are meant to see two souls with one flesh. It's incomprehensible, and it's priceless as a representation of the nature of God.

"Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" - thoughts on marriage from the Bible

Lately I've been thinking about the phrase "bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." By "lately" I mean since right before I got married a couple years ago. This phrase is found in Genesis 2:23, right after Eve is created. Adam says, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh."

At first glance, you might think he is just saying that he finally has another human being with him, since he had been looking at the animals to find a "suitable helper," but couldn't find one until Eve was created.

However, it's pretty clear in Scripture that there is something more to it than that.

A few years ago I read the book Sex God by Rob Bell, which explores the connections between Christian Spirituality and Sexuality. I think Bell made some minor points into a bigger deal than they ought to be, but the book did have some good ideas in it. He said that "bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" refers to the idea that where one spouse is weak, the other is strong, and vice versa.

While that is a great idea, I don't think that is the primary intent of the phrase "bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh."

I was listening to Genesis 29 today, and heard in verse 14 when Laban says to his nephew Jacob upon meeting him for the first time, "surely you are my bone and my flesh!"

Laban is saying "we are related!" when he says they are bone and flesh. So to say "You are bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" is to say "we are more intimately connected than any other human relationship--we are more connected than blood relatives are."

So I think the point of "bone of my bones & flesh of my flesh" is to say "we are so connected that we have everything in common. Sure, there are areas where one of us is strong and one is weak, and in those areas, we have each other's back. In the areas where we have a choice, though, we are devoted to one another completely."

Many couples do not choose to live in this type of marriage, which is the way marriage was meant to be in its perfect design. This shows up practically when couples choose to do things that separate rather than draw together. For example, I don't think a Christian couple can keep their finances separate if they really want to have a marriage that reflects God's best intent for them. Or, if your hobbies are taking up more of your time individually than together, it's time to get a new hobby you can do together. You can figure out a bunch of other ways this principle can apply.

If you're married or want to get married, think about it.

Jesusmas

A few weeks ago, one of my Facebook friends (and I can't even remember who) said something about "Jesusmas" instead of Christmas. The idea was to not take Jesus out of Christmas. On the one hand, it sounds a little funny or like it's taking the whole "keep Christ in Christmas" thing to its logical end, but on the other hand, I think it brings up a good point. Too often, we call Jesus by his title, and not by his name.

For the last few years, I've tried to not use the word Christ as much. I want to be sure that I think of Jesus as a person, not as a distant historical figure or abstract entity. Whenever I have the chance to refer to the Son of God, I choose his name. "Christ" is a title that describes him. For example, Julie usually calls me "Josh," not "husband."

However, lately I've been thinking that it's important to remember that he is the Christ - the Messiah.

I guess that's why it's called "Christmas." If Christmas was just a time that we celebrated Jesus' birthday, we would call it "Jesusmas."

But, Christmas isn't really about Jesus' birthday. It's about the incarnation.

So, when we celebrate Christmas, we aren't solely celebrating the birth of Jesus, we are celebrating the broader idea that God became a man and that man, Jesus, was set apart (anointed, as in "anointed one" or Messiah or Christ) to save us through His death and resurrection.

I still think it's a good idea to call him Jesus, because that's His name (in some languages), but from time to time, I need to stop and remember that He's not just Jesus, He's the Christ, the Messiah.