MySpace Blog: I think you bruised my neck meat

If you don't know what the title is in reference to, and you're under the age of 25, I officially disown you. You will be deleted from my friends' list if I find out that you don't know.

Monday night I couldn't fall asleep, so I was picking at what I thought was a zit on the left side of my nose while I laid in bed. More like squeezing it. That's gross to talk about. So I got up the next morning, and that bump was actually the mole I've had next to my nose for my whole life. It's been kind of bruised so I always play with it when I'm at the mirror. Well, tonight, I rubbed my face, and it started bleeding, so I rubbed it with a kleenex and I think the mole came off. Now the title of this blog should make more sense. If you need a hint, head on over to my profile and look at my movies list.

Tonight, I got home from work, and headed out right away to the bank and Herreid Music to get some strings. I was going to meet Jeremy between 5:45 and 6 and I already was on his side of town, so I went for a walk at 5:35 at the north end of Bechelli near the river. It was nice and hot. It got up to 104 degrees today. I was scared that a rattlesnake was going to come out of the grass and get me. Then I went to Jeremy's and hung out until Amy got off work.

We were going to go to Market Fest again, but the heat led us into the coolness of the theater and "War of the Worlds." I liked it. It was a straight forward summer blockbuster. Same plot as any other survival movie. The main character is a divorced dad with 2 kids. I don't know if the book had that plot too.

We went back to Amy's apartment, and her roommate had a guy over who is someone I knew a couple years ago. I don't think he remembered me. I remember him though. I didn't know him that well, but he was in a pop punk band at the time, and I let him borrow my amp a couple times. His band was good, but the lead singer was completely tone deaf. Actually, I think the other guitar player was, too. They wrote good stuff, and they put on a good show, but they were way off key.

This led me to think of an idea for a song. Basically, it is a song written to a girl who fell for the musician because he wrote her a sappy love song. I (as the writer), am saying that she is tone-deaf for falling for him. Note that this is not based on a real-life event and i'm not feeling girl-crazy or romantic (in fact, I'm probably less interested in anyone right now than I have been in a looong time). Amy's roommate has a little kitten at her place, but that's not really inspiring me either. Here's what I've got so far.

(chorus)
You tone-deaf girl,
Can't you see that he can't sing you lullabies?
You tone-deaf girl,
Can't you see he just wants to make you cry,
and when you're sitting on your bed,
longing for the night,
just know I'll be hear singing,
singing you a song tonight.

The verse will probably tell the story. Maybe I'll mess with it. I haven't played any instruments with it, but I have a good melody idea. If it wasn't so late, I'd grab my guitar and head outside and give it a whirl, but I want to go to bed. But first I need to shower, which might make my mole bleed. that's probably helping you all know that I'm really not in a sappy-romantic mood. Hahaha.

I'm listening to the Number One Gun E-card for their upcoming CD. Well, I was, but I had to turn it off so I could remember the lyrics for "tonedeaf lullaby." I think that's what I'll call it. Maybe the bridge will have something to do with falling asleep to the sound of snoring. I was going to say that I don't plan on doing that until I'm married, but I realized that i do that already, since my roommate snores and sleeptalks.

Currently listening : Promises for the Imperfect By Number One Gun Release date: 19 July, 2005

MySpace Blog: Strange and funny dreams

Eric, catch the reference?

I had a couple weird dreams last night. In one, I was in class, and there was this girl leaving the class who had a goatee. weird. I was sitting with Jeremy and Amy (who don't go to Simpson), and Amy and I discussed that she must think she's going to start a new style. It's pretty gross, if you ask me. I realize that I had a dream about a girl with a mustache about a year and a half ago.

Also, I had a dream that it was 9:00, and my roommate Chris was still around. He leaves at 7 in the morning, so when I actually woke up after he left for work, I thought it was way after 9 AM and I jumped out of bed, because I start work at 9:30. It was actually only 7:30, though, so I got back in bed.

Maybe all these weird dreams are related to the fact that I went to bed around 1, but didn't fall asleep until 3. Now I'm sitting at work falling asleep answering phones and watching the new Mae music video.

Currently listening : The Everglow By Mae Release date: 29 March, 2005

MySpace Blog: random bits on the last few days.

Towards the end of last week, I made my font bigger, but now you'll all probably think my blogs are even longer than they are. Oh well.

so, not much notable has happened, but I always feel like I'm failing people when I don't blog.

Sunday night I led worship, as I already mentioned. Nate preached on being generous, and at the end, he used the word "half-assed," if that's one word. It might be two if you take the hyphen out. I'm not really sure, since I don't use the word myself (Can one do something "whole-assed"ly? That would definitely be 3 syllables--british style). I think he was praying when he said that. Surprisingly, no one laughed really loud; I looked up from my guitar, smiling. Also, surprisingly, I managed to lead worship just fine after that. People were just as able to worship as if he hadn't said it. Maybe they were even more eager for God because he used the term to express the seriousness of the need for us to be fully committed in generosity. I actually thought it was a good idea. Just as Jesus' stories in the gospels were offensive and about giving, Nate's word was. Ezekiel 20 is the most offensive passage in the Bible, and is connected to Ezekiel 16, which says that Sodom was destroyed for not giving to the poor. God is passionate about generosity and is willing to cuss you out about it.

I was thrown off a bit earlier on in the night when we started worship after singing happy birthday to someone. I always try to tie in to what's going on. I had a great segueway, but I thought it was cheesy, so I didn't say anything. The first song was "Wonderful Maker," and the first verse is about God as the Creator, so that ties in with the idea of birthdays. But I chickened out.

Yesterday, I finally went to the lake. Ike and I were there from 5:45ish to 7, but we didn't find a good spot until a little after 6. I came back and realized I didn't have any food, so I went to Safeway. Safeway is sooo much nicer than FoodMaxx. Obviously it's also nicer than Winco, because I don't even go to Winco. In 3 years, I only went to the old winco 3 times, and twice were in the last 3 months. That's a lot of 3s. I'm going to see if I can stay out of the new Winco for a long time.

Today I worked, cleaned my room (it's about time!) and went to Starbucks to meet with Jeremy. We also went to Hallmark to buy birthday cards for a couple people in our home group. Worship team practice didn't happen, because Nate is out of town, so I'm not leading this week.

I came back and picked out 15 worship songs for the Stirring team that we've either recently learned or I think we should learn. I put them on CDs for everyone and wrote up 4 pages on my vision for the team and a little bit about the songs. Hopefully Nate lets me do something with it.

Currently listening : Facedown By Matt Redman Release date: 15 June, 2004

MySpace Blog: schedule.

no details today. just a list of what i did.

12:30 got out of bed, got dressed, ate
2:00 prayer room
3:00 worship team practice
6:15 led worship for the Stirring by myself--it went well (is that a detail?).
9:30 went to Red Robin
11:00 came home and showered
11:43 wrote a blog.
12:00 went to bed way earlier than usual (at least that's the plan).

MySpace Blog: Of mountains and thunder and pink shirts

Let's start with the story of today at midnight between the 24th and 25th. An old friend, David Bundy, who was here at Simpson for the 03-04 school year, went into the Naval Academy last year, and is visiting us right now. Jackson is also visiting for the weekend. Last night, I was signed up to pray in the prayer room from 2-3 AM, and I got Eric to come with me. Eric, Jackson, David, David, Ike, and I were at Starbucks late last night, and we came back after midnight, and watched most of the Italian Job, then Eric and I went to pray. It did go by more quickly this time, but not quicker than expected. I'd still rather pray outside on a mountain in a thunderstorm, or something. God showed me some cool stuff in there. I usually read Phillipians 4:6-7 as meaning that you won't be anxious if you do the things listed. But I now understand that God will guard our hearts and minds from the attacks of Satan, if we are not anxious, but pray instead.

I learned that instead of trying to guard our own minds from temptation, we simply must trust God.

So I came home and read some blogs and took a shower. I cut my hair again, and took another shower (just to rinse off the hair). I went to bed around 4:30. I got up at 11:30, to go to a waterfall with David, David, Ike, and Jackson. But, when I woke up, I was tired, so I went back to sleep, and ended up waking back up at 12:50 or so, soaked in sweat, because I had wrapped myself in my comforter. So I took another shower, and as I was getting out, I heard Eric and Jackson knocking on my door, but by the time I had my clothes on and was at the door, they were gone. Eric didn't go with them, so the two of us headed out with Brandon to Jamba Juice for awhile. Eric and I went to Whiskeytown after that.

We put our feet in the water and decided it was too cold, because it was starting to get cloudy. So we did something I've wanted to do ever since I moved to Redding--we drove to the top of Mt. Shasta Bally. It's a 6000 foot peak that is right outside of town. It still has some snow at the summit. So, we put the truck in four wheel drive and headed up some of the steepest roads I've been on. We got to the top, and it was around 65 degrees (temperature, not slope). I only had with me a t-shirt, board shorts and slippers (flip flops), and I also had my hiking boots and a towel, which live in my truck. I figured out today that I should keep socks with my boots, so I can actually wear them. Duh.

We were going to get out and walk around. We were going to walk to the very top of the mountain (which was very close to the end of the road). We were going play in the snow at the very top. But then we heard a loud rumble. I thought it was the wind, but then I looked up, and in a cloud about a mile to the West of us, there were lightning bolts. So we got in the truck and watched the lightning for about half an hour. It passed from south to north, and stayed on the west side of the mountain. The bolts would always hit in groups of 2 or 3. I glanced to the south for a moment at the blue sky, and Eric said, "whoa!" He saw around 15 bolts strike out in all directions from one point, simultaneously. I wish I had videotaped that.

There is a spectacular view of Redding, Lake Shasta, and Whiskeytown from up there. It was really hazy down below today, but apparently, you can see all the way to the ocean from that mountaintop. I could make out Lassen at times, and other high peaks to the West that I had never seen. The Sierra Nevadas and Mt. Shasta were hidden. Probably the coolest things to look at were Lake Shasta, which is full for the first time in years, and the hills between Anderson and Red Bluff that seem so big when you're in them, but look tiny from up there. In fact, everything was so small, that the City of Redding reminded me of the Peter Pan ride at Disneyland.

Being in a lightning storm on top of a huge mountain made me think of Moses and Elijah. I thought of the song "O Praise Him," because of the repetition of the word "sound" in the song. The thunder would echo for a long time, as it bounced off many mountains, and we were so close to it that it was incredibly loud.

We took pictures and shot some video of the eastern view until it began to rain on us fairly hard, and we decided to head back down the steep dirt road before the ground became saturated and caused us to drive in flash flood canyons (which is what I had called the road on the way up, while it was still a nice day). We might have been hit by lightning in the truck. There was a big flash on all sides of the truck, but we're not totally sure, because there wasn't a noise. It may have just been a very close strike that reflected off the rock on our right. In any case, the lightning was within 300 feet or so of us on the way down the mountain. But, I know that a vehicle is probably the safest place to be in a thunderstorm, so I wasn't worried.

It rained really hard the whole way down, but we got down before the ground was saturated, and made it back to Redding fine. I threw on my pink shirt, and we headed to Burrito Bandito. Oh, I had been wearing it when we were at Jamba, but I didn't want to wear a new shirt to the beach, so I had changed. It really has nothing to do with the rest of the story, but since it was only the second time I've worn pink, I thought I'd share it with you.

We came back and watched the end of the Italian Job, and Brandon joined us for Kindergarten Cop, which is absolutely hilarious when you've been quoting it for awhile. I hadn't even seen it, but I had been quoting it thanks to the prank calls on Ebaum's World.

Eric and I joined the other guys at 10:30ish at Starbucks and stayed there until 11:55. (I changed the time on this blog so that it would be on Saturday and not Sunday; I used to do that a lot.) So, the day began and ended at Starbucks; I watched 2 movies, prayed for an hour, cut my hair, took 3 showers (about to take another), went swimming up to my knees, drove to an elevation above the snow only in swimtrunks, was maybe hit by lightning. I consumed a sandwich, a huge burrito, a Jamba Juice, and some water. A fulfilling day. I would be lazy tomorrow, but I can't. I'm leading worship on my own for the first time, so I've got to be alert and ready to hit those high notes. It took me about 45 minutes to write and edit this whole thing. Sorry it's so long. If you only skimmed, don't comment. HA.

MySpace Blog: La fiesta del mercado

I'm in eric's room listening to an old cd.

I went to Market Fest tonight with Eric, and we met up with Jeremy and Amy. Market Fest is a big concert in the downtown park they do on thursday nights during the summer in redding. there are various craft and food vendors and a small farmer's market. they had a brazilian pop band from NYC tonight. It was cool. They were called the mosquitos. It reminded me of starbucks music a lot. Actually, when we went to starbucks, they had the new coldplay on after the new alanis morrisette. i can't spell her last name, but that might be right.

Market Fest itself surprised me. I expected a bunch of rednecks. Actually, it ended up being the yuppiest thing i've ever been to in redding. The most common men's attire consisted of sandals, khaki shorts, a casual collared shirt (such as a hawaiian shirt or a small print plaid shirt) all topped of with a goatee and sunglasses on a balding head. There were some cowboy hats, though. But they do sell wine there, not just beer, so it reminded me more of santa rosa than redding.

We people watched. People watching is greater than checking out girls. I use the word greater for it's dual meaning. People watching is better, but it also covers a broader range of subjects. People watching in malls and costco is fun. in malls, i look for guys who are checking girls out. in costco, i look for weirdos. at the fair, i just try to separate people by their income bracket. at market fest, i did those kinds of things and I attempted to count goatees and see who was the most drunk. Fun times.

Tonight was the first time that i've been people watching where some random girl just smiled at me. I wasn't checking her out, I swear. I was just scanning, and suddenly she locks eyes and smiles. weirdo. i think she had a kid too.

i got a flier for some club/party thing tonight too. That doesn't usually happen to me. I'm probably too young to get in anyway.

Why do I blog? I used to journal a lot with the intent of one day reading my journal to my wife. Mostly just because every day in there, i put what I'm praying for and they always say something about my future wife and I figured that that would make her cry in a really good way. So I started blogging to open up my journal to the world. I still journal from time to time to write about the personal stuff. I think most of you read this because you're interested in the story of me.

Thanks for being minor characters and major characters in my story. For being foils and comrades. For providing the conflict and the resolution. For giving me stories that help me shape mine. For writing with me. For reading with me.

Currently listening : Contact By The Benjamin Gate Release date: 02 July, 2002

MySpace Blog: bad picture contest

In honor of my 2 bad pictures, let's see who can post the worst pictures of themselves on their myspace. Ready? Go!

MySpace Blog: hair long gone

hair gone:

When my hair itches, I just pull it out now. I think I pulled out around 70 hairs today alone. probably I'm going bald, since all of those hairs were either really tiny or had weird kinks in them. It didn't hurt to pull any of them out, either, they all just kind of came out.

Hair long:
I used to have long hair. I posted some really bad pictures of me with it. So check it out. Eric took them both and in both of them, I'm on my bed--a place where I spent a lot of time last year. In one I'm even playing video games, which is either a rarity or a common occurrence, depending on the month. eric came up with the caption for that one.

*Note: The pictures were on my myspace page at the time. I no longer have them (3.13.08)

MySpace blog: REaaaaally sorry, now

So I go and say I'll not be doing the multiple posts per day thing anymore, and what do I do but post 3 blogs in 15 minutes?

I remembered the other thing, though. I had not been very itchy between Friday and yesterday, but right before I woke up, I had a dream that I caught a huge louse in my hair and killed it. I thought it was real, because in the dream, I remembered all that has gone on with the itchiness lately. So, my head has been itchy all day.

A question to ponder: do lice poop?

OK, now I'm really done, because I'm going to worship team practice. What do you want to bet that I have something to blog about after that. I hope not.

MySpace Blog: sorry, but this is too good to pass up

I just got invited to join the MySpace group, "hott males of Redding." Naturally, I declined. pretty funny. If I did that, I'd have all this pressure to be good looking, and may go crazy and end up jumping off the PFB.

MySpace Blog: Imagine a world with three sexes.

My sister, Lauren, has had this program on her computer for awhile that is called Post-It Software Notes. It allows you to put “post-its” on your computer desktop. So I just got it last week, and it is a pretty cool thing. One implication of this new friend is that I no longer have to blog on things as soon as they come to mind. I just write myself a note, so that I will have all the things I want to write about ready to go at once. This should cut down on the number of days that I blog multiple times. Eric really doesn’t like it when I do that. Well, Mr. Whiner, you don’t have to read my blogs. I know you’ll just be confused if you skip blogs, and I always tell you to read the blog so I don’t have to repeat a long story, but you could just live in ignorance. But, I will try to appease you.

Yesterday, a bunch of people were over at Dr. Larsen’s house, because Kevin Hood is housesitting. Eric and David were playing soccer and Eric looked not all there, so we decided to make a really cruel documentary called, “Eric: The Road to the Special Olympics.” After some thought, we realized that we could do this with anyone if we had clips of them looking awkward in some sports. But this is not nice to the real special Olympics athletes (whom I have a lot of respect for, because they could probably beat skinny little me at many sports). So, the video will probably join all the rest of my videos in the place where videos that never get made go. What???? I don’t know what that was about. Sorry. I just got a bunch of tapes for my camera, so my videos should start being made sometime soon.

One of the best parts of Dr. Larsen’s house is a sign that his son put on the bathroom door. It reads: The Male Bathroom. One part of the sign says: “Imagine a world with just one Sex—Male. A world where Female didn’t exist.” Oh, I’ve imagined that before, and trust me, you can spend hours imagining such a world and the real world will continue to be bisexual (I use that word in a different way than it is usually used).

In fact, toward the end of the last semester, the 12 of us who hung out for most meals last year came up with an imaginary world. There are 3 islands that do not communicate. One is an Island of all men, another an island of all women (the Greek Island of Lesbos—I’m not kidding, it was a real place and that’s where the word comes from), and another island that is mixed, but exists only for procreation. The 3^rd island has immortal human beings that only produce babies and send them to the right island. We discussed what would happen on these islands. Would the people become homosexual? What would happen if someone of the other sex appeared on the island—would a war start? Would the person be worshiped as a deity? Would they be killed for being some kind of freak. We “visited” this land for many days and pondered the implications of a world with 3 unique islands.

Another great thing that was on the sign was, “imagine a world with 3 sexes.” We talked last night about the implications of this world. Would it take one of each sex to reproduce? Would there be three options for most things instead of just 2? For instance, would the options not be “yes” and “no,” but “yes,” “no,” and “sixbe?” I just made up a word by hitting random keys. Thankfully, it was pronounceable. Pronounceable is a real word, but sixbe isn’t.

In other news, I went to the PFB today, like I said I would. I got there at 1:53, so I got to see the shadow as it was exactly on the marker for 2 PM. And it was exactly 2 PM. Wow, big shocker there. But, I discovered that the best time to go to the bridge in the day is approximately 2 PM, because then the cables are making a series of vertical shadows on the sundial. It looks striped. That’s right, people, it looks like a one-syllable word.

OK—there’s something else I want to write, but I forget what it was, since I didn’t put it on my post it. Oh well.

This is an amazing story that i found right after I first posted this blog.

Currently listening : Our Love Is Loud By Passion Worship Band Release date: 09 April, 2002

MySpace Blog: haiku follow up

I don't smoke! I never have. I was not smoking the cigars. People seem to think that I was smoking the cigars. It was just Kevin and Mike outside, and Steve went and joined them at the end and just puffed a couple of times.

Secondly, this is a complaint I've been meaning to share for some time. The recent focus on syllables given my newfound interest in Haiku reminded me of this tragic mispronunciation. "striped" is a one-syllable word. I've heard a few people say "stri-ped" and it drives me crazy every single time. Patrick and Bethany do it, and so do some other people I've heard. i just want to scream every time. "Striped" is like any other adjective that has a -ped ending (see amped, clamped, roped, caped, etc.). It is pronounced more like "pt." If it was a noun with a -ped ending, it would be a separate syllable (see moped, biped, etc.). In fact, Moped is a great example of why the pronunciation is significant. If one "mopes about" the house, he has moped (a one syllable verb). However, if one wants to save gas, she buys a moped (a two syllable noun which gets approximately 100 miles per gallon).

On the way back to Redding on Sunday, I saw a billboard advertising the sundial bridge and it had a really bad picture of it on there. It looked more like a paper football than a sundial. So, Kevin and I are now going to call it "the paper football bridge." Feel free to join in, as long as you remember it was my idea and don't claim the cleverness as your own.

Tomorrow is the summer solstice, so rather than doing a pagan sun ritual, I will probably head over to the paper football bridge (maybe "the PFB" will work as an abbreviation) during my lunch break to see how accurate the sundial is (it is set for the summer solstice). I might forget, though.

Currently listening : Life By Andy Hunter Release date: 28 June, 2005

MySpace Blog: Haiku Gardens--Haiku for the Immature.

In Hawaii, my grandparents lived in an apartment complex called Haiku Gardens. I liked the pool there, it had cool fountains.

Here's some info about the second session: Patrick and Bethany, Steve & Renee, and Richard & Cherish are all couples who were there. The first couple has been married for 6 months, the other 2 for just about a month each. all italicization in this blog are Patrick's words. At some point, we started working together, so there are times when he'd write half a line, and I'd write the other half. So, if you care about authorship, pay close attention. Enjoy.

Oh, these are really immature. It was late and we were sleep-deprived.

Second Session: Saturday night

A real one:
Hazy moon up there
Floats high above the mountain
Perched in the heavens

I can write haiku
I can do it, yes I can
Eat green eggs and ham

They’re smoking cigars now
But Haiku is Japanese
Teriyaki smoke

Smacking of the lips
Bethany has no napkin
Finger-lickin’ good

Burning down the house
Is Richard’s one desire (He had a lighter)
Don’t play with fire (You have to read desire and fire as 2 syllables, each)

Kevin and Michael
Sitting in a tree. S-M
-O-K-I-N-G.

Starts like a real Haiku:
A fluttering moth
Just outside the window pane
Die, die, suckah, die.

Indoor plumbing, yo
Is a great invention, foo
I talk like a G.

Big ol’ camera lens
Expensive, I would suppose
Hurts when lands on foot.

Grand pile of shoes
Other weather, and you’d stink
Thank God for the rain

Needing the bathroom
Too lazy to get up, though
Haiku addiction.

Patrick was cleaning up pieces of a plastic fork he broke:
Picking up pieces
The fork broken like his life
He weeps, He mourns—Fork.

Itchy sock leg hair
“keep me covered,” say cold feet
I should shave my legs.

Toe jams on the can
Soda can, not a toilet!
That would be less gross.

Rocking in the chair
Hope I don’t fall over flat
Guess I’ll keep rocking

Pink candles on wall
On ugly candle holders
Why has one been lit?...

Not the other though!
Was it dusk when they were lit?
May explain the wicks.

A bunch of people were playing the card game Nertz (Nerts?)
Nerts on the glasstop
Go too quick, they might break it
Let’s see who wins…crash.

Steve farts in my face. (and multiple times, I might add)
I thought married guys grew up
Sorry, I was wrong.

Steve would poop on me.
But he is not “regular,”
He has a disease.

Constipated man
Gives me time to run away
Thank God for fiber.
(He wasn’t really sick, I was just avenging my newfound stinkiness).

Patrick: Deep conversation (going on in the other half of the room)
What’s so great to talk about?
Guess we’ll never know.

We could ask, but why?
It is probably boring
We’ll just speak of poop

Poop, poop, poop, poop, poop.
Wonder how Steve is doing
Painful, I would hope

Girls sitting in chairs
They discuss things, legs entwined
Guys cannot do that

Steve returns smiling
He was gone for a long time.
Do not go in there.

Cherish, she loves poo
“like” is an understatement (Cherish told us to write these lines)
I just write “hai-poo”

Hai-poo is Haiku
It is from the depths of me.
You know, my bow-els.

Guys are still outside
See only glowing embers
Hope they’re not kissing.

Steve walking the line
Are pastors allowed to smoke?
Losing his license
(Steve isn’t licensed yet, just accredited, so he doesn’t have to follow all of the Alliance’s rules until his status changes, but we had to pretend, because it’s fun.)

We won’t tell on him
‘less he farts on me again
No! He just grabbed me!
(He randomly came in and grabbed my neck. Weird.)

What is the number? (for the district office)
Surely, we’ll call them tonight.
Be gone before light.

Uncle is the boss.
Stephen is above the law
Poop, poop, poop, poop, poop.
(Steve's uncle is the district superintendent)

Jeremy’s not here
At the concert I’d suppose (the Myriad's concert in Redding)
Lucky little schmuck

Eric is taping
We will get to see it soon
Not the same as live

But they’re missing this
The Haiku madness—the bliss.
Haiku beats concerts.

Knights of Columbus! (Anchorman and Homestar reference)
What am I talking about?
Haiku versus rock?

They’re one and the same—
The joy of self-expression.
Rock n’ Roll Haiku.

Mike is inhaling
Well, not really—that would suck
Suck equals inhale
(Bill Clinton reference—remember those bumper stickers?)

This is getting old
My bad handwriting worsens
Brain fart…poop, poop, poop.

the end.

Read this book. I own it, so feel free to ask to read it. It's really short and absolutely hilarious.

OH, try writing your comment as a haiku. 5-7-5. That's the pattern. You don't have to, but you should.

Currently reading : Everyone Poops (My Body Science) By Taro Gomi Release date: 01 March, 1993

MySpace Blog: haiku and kudos

kudos first: If you leave 2 kudos, my kudo count only goes up by 1, so Trevor actually, you got to give # 101.

The retreat we had was a great time of fun, fellowship, relaxation, teaching, discussion and worship. I picked up a new hobby. I now write Haiku. These Haiku are definitely rated PG-13, and most are not about nature. I will post all of them. They were written by me, Steve, and Patrick. I will attempt to identify the speaker when possible. The ellipsis mark a haiku that is continued in the next stanza. If you don't know, Haiku are Japanese poems with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, and 5 in the third. They are supposed to be about nature, but we just wrote about each other and tried to be insulting. all in love though. If you're wondering, steve and renee are married. I'm just going to post the stuff from the first session on this blog. But, I'll post the other session sometime in the next half hour.

Session 1- Saturday Afternoon

Ceiling fan above
Wobbling around and around
Making my eyes hurt.

Big Baby Taylor
Slightly out of tune, it plays
Patrick strums a chord.

My Butt on fire
Well, actually my journal (steve lit the page on fire. You have to read this as "akshully" for the syllables to work out right).
Steve is a meanie.

Steve: Josh is a gay boy
He likes lots of little boys
And Michael Jackson.

Steve is way gassy
He might need to drop a deuce
How does Renee feel?

Steve: Michael is a punk
He has many tattoos and
Very ugly beard.

Drank coffee today
Keep having to urinate
God bless my bladder.

Burn mark on my page
Dude, Steve lit it on fire
It still smells in here…

Oh that is Mike’s smoke
Embedded in his clothing
mmm…delicious bass.

Kevin holds a stogie
He will smoke it later on
Now he takes a nap…

Mike is off with him
They will sleep, o, they will sleep
Sleep the day away…

On the girls’ mattress
They will share their sweet dreams now
Please, keep your pants on…

Keep your pants on Mike!
I already told you that
And you too, Kevin…

Steve wants to join them
Says he wants to dogpile
Yeah right, you sicko…

Try harder Stephen.
I can see right through the schemes
You devise and plot…

No more than a perv
It is simply appalling
What you formulate.

Steve: Josh, don’t be a perv
Clear your mind of all the filth
Repent now or die!

Jesus can still save
Your mind from the evil thoughts
Be purified now!

Grow an ugly beard
Be like Josh and Michael Stark
Please buy them a razor (Steve screwed up—this is 6 syllables long)

Currently listening : Reset [EP] By Mute Math Release date: 28 September, 2004

MySpace Blog: attention, blog subscribers

To some of you, sorry for ridiculous amount of blogs recently

To others of you, You're welcome for the ridiculous amount of blogs recently.

Next person to kudo gets to give me my 100th.

I'm less itchy today, but not entirely better.

I'm thinking now that I have suddenly become allergic to cotton.

That would suck if that's really it. I'll have to wear polyester all the time. Or silk. I'll just buy some kimonos to honor my 1/4 Japanese heritage.

OK, I promise no more blogs until at least sunday, unless some natural disaster forces me back to civilization, which would be worth writing about.

Currently listening : You Can't Trust a Ladder By The Myriad Release date: 14 June, 2005

MySpace Blog: process of elimination

I got different soap and shampoo, and it is just as bad as before.
I took some vitamins, but that will take awhile to make a difference, if that's it.
I'm going to try to drink more water.
I took a claritin, in hopes that the antihistamine would help.

I was examining myself for flea bites, and I might have some. But, those could also just be freckles and moles that are too small to notice most of the time.

This is irritating and frustrating.

Now, I am getting really irrational and going through the major contaminatnt and disease outbreaks of the last few years--anthrax, asian bird flu, mad cow, SARS, west nile. I probably have an epidermic combination of all of the above, and my appendix ruptured too. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's the kind of thing that pops in my head and sits for a few seconds before I continue on in my itchy life.

I'm thinking I should go get sunburned to make my skin peel off, but that would make me itchier. Oh yeah, and there's the little thing about it not even being sunny. I'm going to bathe in pickle juice to burn anything on or in my skin. I'm trying to figure out what God is using this for. "In all things God works for the good of those who love Him." Umm...God? Maybe I just need to be prayed for and it will go away. So pray. You can pray in the comments, or not.

I'm bleaching my teeth right now. I look forward to the ensuing numbness. yeah right.

MySpace Blog: itching to know

I'm still itching all over. I remembered last night that my entire body has been itchy for the last few weeks. duh. So it's not lice. Maybe it's fleas. I'm really hoping it's an allergy to my soap, so i need to get new soap and find out. I'm "itching to know" what the problem is.

Last night I woke up soaked in sweat. I hate that. I was all wrapped up in all of my sheets and comforter. It was so bad that I grabbed a paper towel to sleep on. Yeah, that's right...one paper towel. Just for where my back was on the sheets, cause that feels the grossest. I woke up about two hours later, and the bed was still moist under the towel. sick. I usually shower at night, but I had to shower this morning, too.

Before I say anything else, you should know that I sleep on the bottom bunk of a bunk bed. When I woke up the third time, I was having a dream that a friend or someone was being attacked--I don't really remember, so someone told me to kick the bad guy, so I did. The problem was that I was starting to wake up as I did it. I kicked the bottom of the top bunk as hard as I could, smacking my toe on the bed, and causing me to think I had broken it. I tried to move it, but it was numb, so I kept trying. I ended up falling back asleep. My alarm woke me up for real.

I'm just posting a lot of blogs because I passed 300 blog views in a week for the first time this week, and that happened on wednesday. this should put me over 400.

Not really. I figured out that if you read someone's blog, then post a comment on it, it shows up that you viewed it between 3 and 7 times, so those numbers are highly exaggerated. At least, that's what happened a few times. For example, when I posted a blog the other night and Rachael read it and posted on it within 5 minutes, the number of blog views increased by 6. Probably 3 were hers, and 3 were mine after I viewed it each time I edited it.

I've been working on the Stirring group page and I am now having problems changing the font on its name. The same problem I had on my own page. I even am asking the staff at MySpace to tell me which part of the code needs to be changed to affect the title, because apparently "nametext" is not the right one.

It's raining and I like the rain. I like certain bands in the rain. Mostly the artsier stuff, and not the poppier stuff. Crowder, Coldplay, Copeland (a "C" conspiracy?), Switchfoot's Learning to Breathe album, Lovedrug, and now the Myriad are all great rainy day CDs. Actually, the Postal Service is too for some reason. I haven't listened to that for awhile, so I'm going to put it on. Now it's on.

I'm going on a retreat tomorrow through Sunday, so that should be fun and relaxing, although we probably won't get to go outside much because it's right next to Mt. Shasta, and since it's raining this weekend, it will be cold and wet. Also, there have been 3 decent to major earthquakes in California already this week. A 5.2 in Riverside on Sunday, a 7.0 off the Crescent City coast on Wednesday, and a 4.9 in San Bernardino County today. Maybe Shasta is going to erupt when we're right next to it. We'll be on the North face (ha, brand-dropping) of the mountain, so our escape to the rest of California would be cut off. We would be forced to flee to .......dum dum dum (spooky music)... OREGON.

Every time I go to Lassen or Shasta, I secretly hope they erupt, with just enough time to flee. Why? Close calls make great stories. Not having any exciting happenings makes for a boring life. But if your life gets really exciting, you die--then you can't tell the story. I tend to bring my video camera along, too, in hopes that I have rare footage of the eruption, which I can sell at an enormous rate to the Associated Press, launching my journalistic career and early retirement all at once.

Ah...my beloved Giants finally managed to win two games in a row for the first time in 3 weeks. I will have to celebrate by going to bed before 2 am for the first time all week. I'm going to go buy some new soap now. My itchy self wants it.

Oh, but first, I need to say, I did my two favorite summer activities today. I went to the bank and had pizza (hey it's thursday, I always have pizza on thursday).

Currently listening : Give Up By The Postal Service Release date: 18 February, 2003

MySpace Blog: short one-lookie lookie

that would be my new picture. This would be the shortest amount of time between blogs.

Those would be not my real sunglasses.

That would be my new pink shirt

That would be Nate Edwardson's office. It is better than any other pastor's office in the world, because it smells exactly like a christian bookstore.

Aww.....3 comments for my last blog and no comments for my cooties.

Currently listening : The Dying Art of Life By Fighting Jacks Release date: 21 October, 2003

MySpace Blog: spiders eating lice

I thought I had head lice. I've told almost everyone about that. So, here's the whole story, beginning to end.

When I was a little kid (2nd grade, I'm pretty sure), my sister and I had to stay home sick one day. We both had a cold that I do not remember, and my sister had head lice, also. She was nearly over the cold, so she went outside and found a box turtle living under our house, which we kept and named firsky. This is my only experience with head lice.

On May 20th, Eric and I went to see Star Wars. I put my head back on the theater chair, and thought "I might get head lice." I said, "nah," and just sat there, enjoying the special effects and cool noises. Sometime around June 2 or 3, I started finding that my head itched. I had forgotten about the theater chair until today, so it wasn't psychological. I started combing my hair about a week and a half ago to see if I could get anything out of it. My hair was slightly wet, and some drop-like things appeared, and I could not tell if they were water drops or louse nits (the things they put their eggs in).

It stopped for awhile, then I decided to cut my hair yesterday (actually last night). So, today my head was itchy, and I just figured it was the hair, but I also knew that it took 10 days for the nits to hatch, so it could have been that they had just hatched from when I combed all the alive lice out. Then, I felt a tiny, tiny bug crawling on my neck, and picked it off. It was about the same size as the thickness of my fingernail, and definitely the right shape and color to be a louse (lice are brown, while the nits are white).

So, I was freaked out and my head itched crazily from about 2:30 PM until later on, and it is right now too. It started itching so much after I found that bug that was probably still too big to be a louse. But, after talking to my mom, both Jeremy and Melissa checked me and didn't see anything. Melissa says she knows what to look for, so I hope she's right. I keep scratching my head and this little white stuff comes off. I don't have dandruff, so it's either a relatively small amount of dead skin or it's nits. but, apparently it's not nits, because it's coming from my scalp, not my hair. So, maybe I'm allergic to my shampoo or soap. Or maybe I haven't been eating as much fruit every time that my head starts to itch. weird.

We talked about spiders a lot tonight. Jeremy has a huge spider bite on his neck that he thinks will kill him. So, we both have fears that could be rational or irrational. If we could find his spider and put it in my hair, it would kill my lice. I'm calling them psychological lice now. Our home group Ice Breaker was to tell a story about spiders and give your name, in that order.

After I got back from home group, I saw Patrick in the parking lot, so we talked for an hour, then as I walked back to my room, I walked through a spider web between two cars, and another in my doorframe. Both were at the same height as my head.

I listened to the Lovedrug song "spiders" while I wrote this blog. I'm Josh Ratiani, and this is my lice story.

Currently listening : Pretend You're Alive By Lovedrug Release date: 27 July, 2004

MySpace Blog: what the hay?

At first I wrote "whet" when I wrote my title. That made me smile, as I thought of the possible meanings of "wet the hay."

"mommy, i need to wee!"
"just wet the hay, son."

can you imagine little bucktooth farm boy with a straw hat and overalls on and the mom who is busy milking the cow, but is not visible because of the direction you are looking in the barn with the big hay stack?

Anyway, this blog is about me and all of you. I realized that I get a ton of comments today. I rarely comment on all of your pages, so what the hay are you all doing?

Secondly, this blog is still about me and all of you. So I decided to take my MySpace to the next level and I posted a couple new pictures, and I got 7 comments on the picture in one day. That's more than any of my other pictures have gotten in the extended durations they've had on this site. Apparently a picture of me in which my smile is not there, my eyes are covered by sunglasses, and my complexion is washed out by the flash is "hot." Seriously, no one ever tells me that stuff. Until this picture no girl has ever complimented me on my looks in my life (besides my mom, sister, and other people far older than me). Guys do every day I think, but we always joke around, so it's not usually serious. And I often get style compliments, but not looks ones. People tell me I have a great smile sometimes and my dentist says I have the best teeth in the whole practice, so it's odd that the pic in which my "best asset" is hidden is the one that illicits such flattery. Let's see how you all respond to this paragraph-- Am I incredibly insecure about my physical appearance, or just begging for attention? Or neither?

If anyone sees my myspace and reads the pic comments, they'll get a strange impression of me. Look people, I'm one of the myspace sluts!

Thirdly, this blog is still about me and all of you. Except I forget what I was going to write. lol. ha. I had to do it. Just fyi, I really do hate "lol," and I have since I was 16, like I said earlier. I use every other abbreviation known to man. And I really do laugh out loud all the time, whether I'm by myself or around other people. Usually just muffled chuckles. Eric tries to imitate me reading myspace and laughing under my breath, but it always comes out more like the sound of mating chipmunks.

So, yeah, I really do Laugh Out Loud, butt I much prefer writing, "ha." My sister and I regularly talk about our shared like of "ha." We both even just say, "ha" about funny stuff in real life. Not only is it something you can do in real life, it is shorter than lol.

Oh, now I remember the third point, but it is now the fourth one.

Fourthly, this blog is still about me and all of you. The Myriad's CD came out today. Go buy it immediately! Unless it is the wee hours of the morning. Best Buy is supposed to have it, but the Redding one doesn't even have it yet, and they were originally going to host one of the release parties, because this is the Myriad's hometown (sort of). So, try to find it. Try really hard, it's worth it.

It's always cool when you're friends with someone in the "thank yous," and since Nate (the pastor of the Stirring) is the brother of the lead singer, he's in there, along with Bill Randall, who pastors Risen King. And, both of those churches are mentioned. I've been able to hang out and talk with the Myriad guys a few times. We even taught a guitar workshop together last fall, so we got to talk effects and such. They're an amazing band. Oh, Nate also wrote the title track, although it has been changed a lot since he first wrote it during class at Simpson. He thinks it's the worst song on the CD, and he says he's not just saying that. I got to show him his credit in the liner notes tonight at worship team practice. SO, buy this CD, all of you! If you like the european style of rock popularized in recent years, you will like this CD! If you like Muse, I guess you'll really like it, although I don't like Muse that much, but I really like the Myriad. That is supposedly who they sound like the most. I think they're lovedrug-ish too.

Fifthly, this blog is still about me and all of you. I wore my pink shirt for the first time today. A picture is probably soon to follow, and I just assume that you will all tell me I look hot in pink.

Sixthly, this blog is still about me and all of you. It's bedtime. Did you all catch that I wrote "butt" instead of "but" earlier? Did you all catch that I said "wee" twice in completely different ways?

seventhly (this part was posted at 1:10 AM), my stuff is all working again. Eric, I put in that code you gave me, which was exactly the same as the code I was using last night. So, you weren't any help, I think it was just MySpace being an issue. But thanks for caring so much about me. awww. I just typed "s" three times instead of "w." Typos are quite humorous.

Currently listening : You Can't Trust a Ladder By The Myriad Release date: 14 June, 2005

MySpace Blog: grrr

this blog has the opposite title of the previous one, but is of similar length. I just want to vent my frustration over my inability to get my name color to go back to green or to change it to anything besides black. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

My friend aaron just posted a comment on my page including the term "lol," and I don't think he read my blog, so i think he honestly meant it. that makes things so much worse. just so you all know, you can ask jackson about how long i've hated "lol," and he'll tell you that it's been since I was about 16, when I first started on AIM.

Yes, I do like to wear my sunglasses at night, just because it makes Eric mad. I had a reason to in those pictures though--I was taking pictures of myself with the flash on. The reason those cool lines are all over the place is that we set it on "night" mode, so it would be the proper lighting for ourselves and the background, but when you move (like we were in the car), it does crazy stuff.

I'd have to say my profile rocks now, besides the stupid name thing.

I'm really listening to some andy hunter now, and debating whether or not to put some up on my page. maybe tomorrow.

Nevermind about the length thing, this blog got way longer than I expected it to. I've never blogged on myspace about myspace until now. besides the first blog when I said myspace was stupid and i didn't understand blogging.

Currently listening : Life By Andy Hunter Release date: 28 June, 2005

MySpace Blog: arrrrrrrrrrrgh

I haven't IM'd anyone today, but I just wanted to throw out that I absolutely hate the phrase "lol." If I ever see anyone post it, I immediately have less respect for that person. Now I'm sure that at least one person will write LOL in response to this post. Now that I said that, no one will. Now that I said that, everyone will write LOL. Now that I said that, I have no idea if anyone will write lol.

OK, I just changed my profile a bit, and since I know most people go straight to my blog, check out my profile if you'd like to. I'm also going to try to change some of my pictures or just upload some new ones and move the ones I have up right now to somewhere else. But that's not going to be for a few hours or days.

Currently listening : Learning to Breathe By Switchfoot Release date: 26 September, 2000

MySpace Blog: I won't cheat on you, I swear

I don't really feel like blogging, but I know I should, mostly for you, mom and dad.

I led worship again tonight (with Nate). It continues to get easier and better each time. But, before that, I want to talk about the rest of my day. I got up and went to church at Risen King, and today was the day we commissioned the church plant team for the Foundry. Tim Loomis came in to lead worship, since he'll be doing that for the Foundry. I've heard him lead worship one other time, at the preview service for the Reno Church Plant, which he also was involved in. I love his song selection--more crowder and tim hughes and chris tomlin stuff than the old schoolers here do. I had an hour in the 24/7 prayer room at 1 PM, so I waited around the church and helped Nate move stuff, then attempted to set up some of the stage for tonight.

The Prayer room is really good. I wasn't as blown away as some other people. I definitely felt God in there right when I showed up. The first 5 minutes were great. Since everyone says time flies in there, I was expecting it to, but when it didn't, it made things feel slow. I usually go on prayer walks for 45 min or so, so maybe I'm just used to praying for long times, so it didn't feel any different to me. I prayed for each person in my home group, each person in Stirring leadership, and any other people I could think of that I expected to be at the Stirring tonight. Mostly I prayed for a desire to see more of God, and that He would first off, be glorified, and then also give something new to each person I prayed for. I think it would be really cool to pray for each person I lead into worship, but I don't know if that's possible.

So, last night, from 10 PM until 1:40 AM, I sat in Eric's songs and played worship songs, while he played bass. I stopped when I broke Eric's string. I broke his G-string on a Saturday night. hyuk hyuk hyuk.

Today, at practice, I broke my B string on my electric, and on the first song of the night, I broke the high E. I led one more song with the broken string, because I couldn't get nate's attention, and my guitar was still in tune, but then my guitar signal cut out on the first chorus of that song. So, while I was a lot less nervous, I had to fight through most of the first worship set due to technical difficulties.

The reasoning behind the title of this blog is that I always pretend that I'm married to/ dating my guitars. In electric world, my first and only love has been my beautiful tele. In Acoustic world, my Gibson has been dubbed "my wife," while my old Fender has been relegated to my "mistress," or my "girl on the side." But most commonly, we refer to it as "the whore," because everyone gets to play it. I know, I know, this is dumb and immature, especially since my best worship times of late have been outside, which means I've been playing my fender. Why? Because there's no way I'd want to scratch up my wife or take her outside if the temperature falls outside of the 72-78 degrees that she likes. Anyway, I recently thought of buying a second electric guitar, which would probably also be a tele, but different ('72 tele thinline), and I guess my girlfriend found out and got mad at me. She decided to flare up during the worship time tonight.

Actually, I don't believe any of that, but it's fun to pretend. My guitar was fine, the strings were just really old; it was time to change them anyway, so I did just now. My signal was cut due to my unplugging of my a lot of pedals on my pedalboard last sunday. While I was changing the strings, I found a rather significant dent/ding right on the front of the guitar that I hadn't noticed, and I'm not too happy about that, but oh well. I wonder, though if someone was playing it and damaged it and didn't tell me, because I have no idea how a ding that big could be made without being noticed, unless it was dented while in the case or something. Not that big a deal though. It's just a little character, and character is good.

Currently listening : Not to Us By Chris Tomlin Release date: 17 September, 2002

MySpace Blog: what happens when my favorite things get old?

Tonight, Steve and I ate hamburgers at his house. After that, we went downtown to just hang out. We walked around, checked out some places like Breaking New Grounds, the mall, the Lorenz hotel, Bog Bean, Leatherby's Ice Creamery, and the Cascade Theater. While we were walking down the street, some guy in the back of a car yelled something at us. I don't remember what it was, but it was along the lines of "you're hot" or "I love you." Either he was drunk or gay. Maybe both. Steve and I were very fashionably dressed (as always, of course), and we were two guys walking downtown on a friday night, so I could see how the dude might think we were gay. Dang it. I need to do something about that, like grow a mullet. Gay guys don't have mullets, as far as I know. We were done by 9--Steve's newly married (to a woman), so he has a bed time.

I came back and I know that some of you have been disappointed by my less frequent blogging of late, so I thought, what can I do that will make for a good blog. I knew there were some really cool thunderclouds to the East, so I went outside. The Western sky was still fading out, and the clouds to the East and South were illuminated by the last few photons of the day. When Steve and I were driving to his house, I saw lightning bolt flash within the big cloud to the East, so when I walked outside with my guitar, I watched that cloud.

It was the most brilliant thing--the cloud would light up repeatedly. Sometimes it would glow purple-blue, other times yellow-orange. Other times, you could see a bright white bolt, or a bright blue bolt, or a bright yellow bolt, or a bright red bolt.

I walked out behind the softball field backstop. I must have seen 200 lightning flashes tonight. It was waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than the other "light show" I watched. This one was like watching fireworks. There were probably 4 storms in areas miles and miles apart, but they were all in the same general direction from me. So, the storm directly in front of me was the big one, and the one furthest to my left would occasionally light up, too. thought it was great when they would light up at the same time, always right when I got to the chorus or the end of the song I was singing. One of the middle clouds lit up a few times on its own, but I didn't know about the second cloud from the left. Right as I was getting ready to leave, during the last chorus of the song I was singing, all four lit up with repeated lightning bolts. I looked up and immediately saw a satellite directly in front of me at an elevation of about 30 degrees, headed straight down, right toward the storms. That was a good way to end my night.

I wonder what will happen if this ever gets old. I know that God will give me a new way to worship, but until that time comes, my current fascination with all things in the sky will continue.

I actually don't have this CD yet, but I heard it at Eric's and I'm listening to clips online. If you like worship electronica, this is for you. And if not, this stuff is a good introduction to it. Andy Hunter's stuff from his first album is so good that it's been used on Alias, the Matrix:Reloaded, the Italian Job, and more shows and video games. And it's all designed primarily to help you worship. Good stuff. The new album seems to take the general public's personal obsession with the Postal Service into account, as it is more of a blend of pop with the house influence he had before.

Currently listening : Life By Andy Hunter Release date: 28 June, 2005

MySpace Blog: Coldplay, strippers, and worship leading

Just sitting at work answering phones and listening to the new coldplay. Wow. Go get it.

I hope that the blog title got your attention.

Yesterday Eric and I were discussing what the opposite of coldplay is, and he said "hot homework." I said "hot work," but he said that sounds like it could be some inappropriate line of employment, to which I responded "stripping." We also determined that firefighters, and thermometer quality control people do "hot work." It's raining outside right now.

Oh yeah, last night we had worship team practice. I led practice by myself. We weren't going to play this week, so the purpose was really just to get me comfortable with a mic and to help james (who is new to the team) used to playing bass with us. Jeremy played some electric, which I had set up for myself to play, so it was really loud right where I was standing. Anyway, I couldn't sing very loud or even talk very loud yesterday, so it was a bit funky. After we went to In-N-Out and came back to church, Patrick and I sat arounduntil 11:30 or so, just working on trying to help me sing louder and playing new stuff that's really high. I think it worked some, but I have a long way to go. Maybe I'll take a voice class this fall.

The other good part about being at the front desk (besides getting to go on myspace) is that I can read the news and the Bible when it's not busy.

Currently listening : X&Y By Coldplay Release date: 07 June, 2005

MySpace Blog: Capri Sun

Today was the fourth time in 6 business days that I went to the bank. I had my last(?) deposit in this crazy run. It was for some stock that I was given a few years ago (i might have been 8 or 12 or 16-I don't remember at all when I got it), so my dad's name was on top of the check, above my name. It was for $49.40 and I also had a couple 50 cent penny rolls. So I waited in line (Eric came to stand in line with me), and got to the front of the line only to find out that I couldn't deposit the check because my dad's name was on top. The teller did take my pennies though. So I stood in line for a dollar. woohoo.

In our boredom, Eric and I decided to shop. Buying is what guys are good at. You figure out what you want, then go get it, then come home. Girls are good at shopping. You go to the mall with your credit card and look around and find deals and get things that you want, then file for bankruptcy. Guys shop, too, but if there aren't any girls with them, they shop the way Eric and I did today. We walked from one end of the mall to the other without going in any stores. Then we walked back on the outside of the mall.

I was thirsty, so we headed to Food Maxx. I got a water bottle and a box of Capri Sun. I've never bought Capri Sun before with my own money. We went to Barnes & Noble (eric had a gift card), and I took a Capri Sun with me. You know in Garden State, when Natalie Portman is talking about doing something completely original? I did that today. I am the first person to ever stand in the sci-fi section of Barnes and Noble while drinking a Capri Sun, to read the following quote from Ender's Game:

"Cover your butt, Bernard is watching.
--God"

I proceeded to read a random line for Bill Clinton's autobiography before taking the final swig from my Capri Sun.

Later, I ate dinner, then hung out at Starbucks with Eric, Rachael, Brandon, and Bethany for awhile. Just got back home. We saw an owl flying around downtown. That's the deepest nature-type thing that happened today. Except I remember thinking something worth writing about, but I forget what it was.

Oh, there was also a really wide, short, out-of-focus rainbow. And there was a storm. I love the sky after storms, because there are a lot of clouds that do cool things in the late afternoon. The best thing is when the storm is past, and there is that cold, clear night, when the stars are bright, and the grass is cold because of all the water in it. The asphalt is extra black because of the water. Those are some of my favorite nights.

Currently listening : Beneath Medicine Tree By Copeland Release date: 25 March, 2003

MySpace Blog: more weekend fun and thoughts.

I forgot to mention that I like funerals more than weddings. Why? Certainty. At a funeral, you know what the outcome is. The person is dead. If they're a Christian and their family is too, then it often is a time of rejoicing in spite of the sadness of missing a loved one.

Weddings, on the other hand, are question marks. Will they stay married? And because of TV and movies, I always fear that either the bride or groom will not show up or will bail out at the altar. That never happens in real life, but I still worry about it at every wedding. Each part of the wedding increases my relief--the vows, the ring exchange, the kiss, and ultimately the pronunciation of man & wife.

Tonight I co-led worship with Nathan and Emily. I also found out that I will likely be stepping into full-time worship leading. Not right away, but that seems to be the intent. I'm totally content to take things one step at a time. So, if God has something else in mind, that's fine. But I also remember the first weird word of knowledge/prophecy that I experienced.

On March 15, 2003, I was at Whiskeytown Lake with some friends from home who were visiting Simpson for Genesis weekend. This guy and his girlfriend/wife were sitting in a lifeguard tower as we skipped rocks on the lake. He started talking to me (I think he was named jonathan; it's in my journal, but i'm too tired to check), and told me he had a vision of me taking a music class. He saw a book with notes on a page (I was in Music Theory at the time). He said I'd learn new instruments and start singing. He told me I would lead people in worship. It was crazy. March 16, 2003 was the first night of the Stirring. I first led worship (just a couple songs) at the Stirring on March 13, 2005. Since God's primary way of speaking to me is through His timing, I now see that God has anointed me to lead the Stirring in worship, especially for the Stirring. I realized that a few weeks ago, but didn't say anything. I mentioned last week in a blog that I'd share this when the time was right, so I am.

I've been leading worship in a home group for a couple years, and it totally developed that area of my ministry. I've definitely been playing new instruments (mandolin, programming on my computer that few people have heard). Tonight I led worship without being nervous. The second song I led was with a bunch of people from Risen King there, too, so there were probably well over 200 people there, so I got a bit nervous for a few seconds, then got over it. I was more nervous because Bill and Jill Randall were there. I don't really know why. It's the same reason that I refuse to sing in front of my dad. I think I'm scared of approval or those compliments that you get that you don't want, but if you don't get them, you feel miserable.

Having my own mix was so much better, and the mic and guitar being positioned physically low enough helped too. So, I'm running practice for the next few weeks, since Nate has already asked other people to lead those weeks, and possibly afterwards, I'm going to be leading without Nate.
After the Stirring, Eric, Rachael, Bethany and I went to In-N-Out and I also ran into Trevor and Aaron. Then Rachael, Bethany, and I met up with Levi at Caldwell Park to climb the big train bridge. I probably just mentioned half the people who will read this blog.

It was so windy and cold. There were a lot of cop cars going through (like a whole 2 of them in 10 minutes, but we still freaked out), so we abandoned our illegal (we think so at least) plans. We ended up hanging out under the Benton Dr./Court St. Bridge on the south side of the River. I guess it was more between that bridge and the Diestelhorf bridge (they're about 30 or 40 feet apart). We were just sitting on the river's edge and enjoying the stars, the lights and the occasional bat (Bethany was not enjoying the bat), and we were hit with 50ish mile per hour gusts and some dust. That was fun. I was thinking about demons and the Spirit the whole time it was windy, but I didn't say anything.

On the way back across Diestelhorf Bridge, I looked at the stars so long that my neck got sore. I said I wished I had eyes on top of my head just for looking at the sky. I think I've thought about and looked at the sky more times in the last 3 months than in the rest of my life. I kept looking up despite my sore neck and stumbled across the bridge. I saw my star again tonight. That's cool (adjective issues again), I have a star now. No one else can have it till I get married. Maybe my kids will get to have it someday too. Maybe not. Levi found 2 satellites in about 20 seconds. They were going opposite directions. I saw a shooting star that no one else saw. I think God likes me. Not more than anyone else, but now when I see a single shooting star, it has so much meaning. very cool. Very radiant. Very Radical. Radically Radiant. When you try to combine Radical and Radiant, you get Rad-ical or Rad-iant. not that cool. Here comes another, similar word:
Ratiani Out.

MySpace blog: Mallards--a duckumentary

Did anyone notice that in my blog with pinnochio in the title, I wrote about Jiminy Cricket? I was wondering if anyone would notice, but no one commented on it. So you must not be very big Children's story fans.

I drove home on friday around 4:30. I got off an hour early (3:30), so I got to leave. I like driving home, because I usually sing until my throat hurts and my face goes numb. Yeah, my face goes numb. Weird. I tell people that it falls asleep and they get scared and ask if I should be driving. Honestly, I don't know. It happens when I try to sing up high for awhile.

I can sing way higher than I used to be able to (6 months ago I was hitting D, and tonight I was hitting A#). So, my face doesn't go numb. Now my chest just hurts, because I know that to hit the high notes, you have to push more with your diaphragm. Here's what I sang along with on my trip:

The way down:
Sleeping at Last, Ghosts
Copeland, In Motion and Sony Connect Sessions EP
The Format, Interventions and Lullabies
Relient K, MmmHmm

The way up:
Tim Hughes, When Silence Falls
Passion, How Great Is Our God
A worship mix I made (4 songs)
David Crowder Band, Can You Hear Us?
Matt Redman, Facedown

I don't know if that was worth writing. So on the way down, I was listening to the Format on Highway 20. If you haven't heard them, they could be described as being on the country/folk side of emo/indie/alternative. Really good music for long trips. I saw some roadkill up ahead, and moved to the left side of the lane to avoid what looked like a dead raccoon (because of the color). Suddenly, a bird swooped down right on the yellow line, next to the dead animal. Assuming it was a vulture, I moved farther over, because vultures are big. Do you call them buzzards or vultures?

Upon further, closer inspection, I realized that this "scavanger" was actually a male mallard duck. His flamboyant green head gave it away. I was thinking, "stupid duck, you don't eat dead animals," as I passed it and it's large, deceased, tan meal. A semi truck was coming the other direction and there were a number of cars behind my speed-limit-almost-abiding self. That mallard was as dead as a duck. Umm, that's not a real saying but it could be.

I realized about a quarter mile later that that roadkill I had seen was Mrs. Mallard. The color was definitely girl mallard. Ducks pair up with one partner for an entire year. They have the same values as Western society--you can have many mates, but only one at a time (geese are the way it should be--one mate for life). Ducks don't eat big dead animals, so the male must have been at his wife's funeral. She must have been struck by an oncoming vehicle, and he flew on, then realized what happened and swooped to her side. He surely joined her in her fate just seconds later. This undying (maybe not the best choice of words) display of love (or whatever ducks have) moved me. It moved me to come up with a new idea for a video. A duckumentary. It's a nature show about ducks. I have plenty of subjects--the ducks at simpson. But, surely, this video will join the ranks of all the others. It will forever be an idea that i tell people about, but never actually make.

So, being home was good. I went to Stars' Music Liquidation Sale. I spent $119 on a cable, a tuner pedal and 6 picks that they didn't charge me for. I already have a tuner pedal, but now that I'm going to be leading worship some, I anticipate playing both electric and acoustic, so I need 2. And I needed the cable for my acoustic. Then, I went to Tim Schaefer's wedding. It was weird, because I don't think she cried at all, but he could not stop crying. That's backwards from normal.

Besides some good meals, talking with the family, and playing with my brother's new amp, not a lot else happened. On the way up, I sang along with only worship CDs. I drank a ton of water today, so that may be why I could hit those high notes. And I had coffee right before I left. (Is this necessary self-disclosure?) I had to stop to pee 3 times. Usually i don't stop at all besides to get gas. One of those times, I got 2 water bottles and a pepsi. I also stopped on an open, straight part of highway 20 to stargaze.

Since I drive too fast on that road, there was no one behind me for some time (I had passed them all long before). The stars were soooo bright. I had forgotten. That little star next to the big dipper handle's 3rd star was still there. That star, plus billions of others (i probably couldn't see billions, but I could see a lot). I was terrified, out there in the middle of nowhere. No human noise or light was present besides my own truck's ticking as it sat. It was cold and windy, but I only took my slippers (that's Hawaiian for flip-flops, all you americans) home with me, so that's all I had. I was walking back around my truck and my foot brushed up against a weed, and I thought some strange creature had bitten me. I was scared that a velociraptor was going to jump out of the grass and eat me too. (I think we were talking about Jurassic Park at Starbucks on Wed.) I don't know why I get these paranoid moments. Especially when I'm in one of my favorite states of worship--looking at the sky. You'd think I'd realize that the Creator of the universe was my Protector. But, at that moment, my fear of my circumstance and my view of the sky were teaching me something else. They were driving home the purpose of life.

In Ecclesiastes, the Teacher comes to the conclusion: "Fear God and keep His commandments--this is the whole of man." That's it. The purpose of life. (That's the Bible's purpose, not Rick Warren's--I haven't read his book). So my fear, which I shouldn't have (I'm supposed to have a spirit of courage and a sound mind according to the NT), was used to make me realize that I need to fear the God who made those huge stars. Not in a way that involves me running from Him. I should rejoice with trembling as Psalm 2 says. The last 5 months have taught me a lot about fearing God, and now I see that God as the Creator needs to be feared.

Overall, a good trip. No numb face, just a sore chest. Oh, I found $50 in my backpack while I was home. It was a check for selling some DirecTV stock I had been given. I already went to the bank 3 times this week for deposits, now it looks like I have one more. But, hey, as long as they're deposits, I'm willing to go there over and over.

MySpace blog: still growing

I love this. I'm at work and I'm on MySpace, and it's totally OK. I'm answering phones, and we're allowed to go online and do whatever while we answer phones. Well, not whatever exactly, but you know, whatever. When I'm up here, I get to see all kinds of people I usually wouldn't. So, it's quite fun. I'm also reading my book up here, so that's delightful, too. I realize that whenever I need an adjective, I always write "cool" or some random word that I would never say out loud for fear of sounding nerdy or shakespearean.

Currently reading : That Hideous Strength (Space Trilogy (Paperback)) By C.S. Lewis Release date: 13 May, 2003