Sushi!

That's how sushi is made

On the way to the Sharks' game

This bridge never gets old. The gusts of wind were pushing cars into other lanes. One of the pictures I took has a sign in it that says "High Wind," but I bet Jackson didn't see it.

The Opening Face-off of the Sharks Game

So long, o' five

My world is washing away. Well, at least my county is. Our little Russian River is flooding so much that it's all over the national news. I really want to go look at the river, but the roads are all closed. I still haven't gone to San Francisco yet, and now I'm thinking that it might be more useful to go help people whose homes are flooded.

Yesterday, I went to a Hockey game. Jackson drove his mom's van, and we had some fun experiences with that van on the way home after seeing the Sharks game. We hit this huge puddle somewhere between Novato and Petaluma. It must have slowed us down by around 20 MPH. Everything just went white, as water completely engulfed the van as it sprayed up. Crazy. On the way down and on the way back, there were a number of cars that had gotten really messed up because of the rain. One mustang in Santa Rosa on the way down was turned around on its side of the freeway. On the way back, there was a taxi cab that was around 15 feet off the freeway, in the grass.

As for the game, the Sharks won. I'll post a picture of the game (It's really easy to post photos on blogger because I have picasa!). It was a fun experience. It was a good new thing to do (I hadn't been to a hockey game before). Joe Thornton, the Sharks' best player, got 3 of his teeth knocked out by a high stick, but the refs didn't call anything. Also, there was a goal that the Sharks scored that the refs didn't call either. My brother said they showed it on the news as an example of really bad officiating. I've been thinking a lot about what it would be like to have 3 of my teeth knocked out at once. I don't think I would like that very much.

Today, I woke up around 2ish, then for 2 hours, daydreamed about what it would be like to be a sniper in the San Francisco PD. I kept on getting distracted from my daydream because I kept thinking about how hard it is to use your imagination once you pass the age of 12. Of course, the fact that I thought about imagination was the very thing that distracted me from my imagination.

Eventually, I got out of bed, and I had a couple hours of a day. Later on, my family continued our tradition (actually, it's just a general Japanese tradition) and made sushi for New Years' Eve dinner. (I'll post a picture of that too). I finally like sushi. It's about time, being part Japanese and all.

Now I'm blogging, then I'm going to spend a nice little New Years with the family, and my dad is having me play piano with the worship team tomorrow, so I guess I can't stay up too late (so it's a good thing I'm not going anywhere).

Have a great New Year everyone!

Hello friends. Feel free to comment on here or myspace.

I have a lot to say. Actually, I just saw a reminder on my google desktop sidebar that I put on there around 3 weeks ago. I wanted to remind myself to mention that I hate talking on the phone. I always have. If people call me, it's not so bad. But, I absolutely hate calling other people.

To make things worse, my cell phone has horrible volume issues. So, if you have ever called me, and I said "what?" a lot, it's not because I'm stupid or ignoring you, it's because my phone is a tragedy.

The main reason the phone has given me so much grief is because for the last 3 1/2 years, I've lived in the Measell-Taylor Residence of Simpson College or University, depending on the era of my schooling and of history. However, this time has come to an end. Last week, things fell into place very quickly, and long story short, I'm moving off campus as soon as I get back to Redding. I'll be living a few miles away from the school, with Kevin Nichols.

I suspect that people are going to put comments on this blog either mentioning that they don't have my phone number or that I should invite them over. That's not going to help your chances.

I do appreciate blog comments, so go ahead and put them on blogger or on myspace, if you'd prefer that. However, I have decided against everyone's wishes as shown by the last blog's comments. I am going to stay beard-free for awhile, at least. I'm going to start a fashion-oriented campaign. You know how beards got really popular last year? Well, I wasn't really excited about that, because I didn't grow mine just because everyone else did. It was very weird and coincidental. So, my fashion campaign is very simple, and will be launched immediately.

FACIAL HAIR IS SO 2005.

That's pretty much it. Self-explanatory, I'd say.

The most significant thing that has happened as a result of not having school has been the chance for me to catch up on things I've been wanting to do. Last week, I had a chance to read a little more in The Present Future, which is a book Nate Edwardson gave me a few months ago, on what the Church needs to do to be relevant. The guy has good things to say, but he sucks as a diplomat. Trashing people is not an effective way to incite them to change.

So, I stopped reading that, and took Don Miller's Through Painted Deserts to Barnes and Noble last Wednesday night, and read for a few hours. I ended up meeting a guy who asked me what I thought of the book, and in a brief conversation, I learned that he was homeless and had walked away from the faith. For some reason, when he said those things to me, no response came to mind. I don't know if God just didn't want me to go further in the conversation or what, because I was really bummed that I missed what would have been a great conversation with someone who needs people to talk to. So, hopefully, I'll get a chance to talk to him again when I get back in town.

Then, I went home (to Steve and Renee's, where I was fishsitting), and watched Invisible Children. I hadn't gotten to see it because of my busy schedule during the semester, so I got a copy of it from Patrick and watched it alone. It changed my life. Well, not really changed my life. It mostly motivated me to passion for the things I already knew and believed. I had already had a desire to make documentaries about those less fortunate than me. Seeing other people do it has gotten me really excited about it (I stayed up for hours last night brainstorming).

This week, I've been reading The Gutter by Craig Gross of xxxchurch. It's a really good book, and fits so well with the other stuff I just talked about.

I've realized that while everyone wants everyone to go and do the same stuff for the poor, why don't we go and be ourselves with them? Instead of everyone going and giving away food or blankets--rather than everyone going and praying for people--why don't some of us do what we're good at (and the other stuff, if the opportunity knocks)?

I obviously love telling stories, hence my frequent blogging. In addition to writing, I enjoy making movies to tell stories. So, here's my plan...

Sometime before I go back to school, I'm going to take some friends, head to San Francisco, and just ask homeless people to tell us their stories. If they'll let us videotape them, then they'll be in our movie. If they are willing to talk, but not be taped, then I'm going to write their stories.

You probably won't see those stories on this blog, because one of the other cool things that's been going on, is the very early formational stages of a magazine. It's just a thought that Patrick had, and it has sparked a flame in me, and I think in some other people, too.

Another idea I have is to take my guitar downtown (i don't know which downtown) with a friend on either another guitar or djembe, and just play music. That might be a way to pick up a few bucks, but the primary point is to be around other people whom I normally wouldn't encounter.


Odds and ends:
I like rain, but it gets old when everything is flooding around here. It kind of is hard to drive when everyone is going 35 on the freeway, just because of the water (and not because there are very many cars). Also, it is hard to drive to the ocean when the river is flooding and the road is impassable.

I had a physical today, and I had a blood test. It was the first one since I was 4, when I was anemic. I almost passed out after the blood was drawn. They had to do both arms, and still probably didn't get enough blood. I have low blood pressure, so that could be the reason why. I'm not sure if my near passing-out was just because I have such low blood pressure, or if it was because I couldn't eat anything before the test, or if it was just because I've made blood tests out to be a bigger deal than they really are for the last 17 years. In any case, I do not think I will become a blood donor anytime soon.

Everyone should listen to Mutemath. They have a free download of a previously unreleased song "Chaos" through myspace. Their live show is incredible. Just watch any of their video blogs over on myspace.

13 million people in the USA blog. And that does not count Myspace, AOL, Xanga, or LiveJournal. I saw that in the newspaper yesterday. 39 million people read blogs.

If you read this blog, do me a favor and put a comment somewhere (on either one), just so I know if writing on blogger is really turning you all away as much as people are making it sound.

MySpace blog:This one's not on blogger

First off: Merry Christmas to all (although it's a bit late).

Secondly: The other day, the beard finally came off after 8 months of not being clean shaven. I'm debating whether or not to grow it back before I go back to school or just to leave it as is.

That's all for now.

Have a lovely second day of Hannukah and Christmas. Enjoy your menorahs and turtle doves.

MySpace blog: This one's not on blogger

First off: Merry Christmas to all (although it's a bit late).

Secondly: The other day, the beard finally came off after 8 months of not being clean shaven. I'm debating whether or not to grow it back before I go back to school or just to leave it as is.

That's all for now.

Have a lovely second day of Hannukah and Christmas. Enjoy your menorahs and turtle doves.

Bridges

Tonight, I went for a walk at the Sundial Bridge at around 10:30. It was really foggy, and for most of the time I was there, I was the only person on the entire bridge. It was peaceful, but haunting. By haunting, I mean I had that feeling that something was behind me. Also, my greatest fear is being under or on a bridge during an earthquake.

I stared upwards at the mist, as the water condensed on the suspension cables, and huge drops plummeted towards my face. The spotlights shimmered off each drop, as it descended ever more quickly through the night air.

I was inspired to write a song, but it came out more like a poem. I'm not going to explain the meaning of this poem, because art's meaning should be left to the observer, I think. I will say, though, that this is not about a girl. I guess it could be on one level, but there is an allegorical meaning far deeper, that you'll just have to figure out. I started to write, and some things came out that weren't how I felt when I was there, but some were, so here it is:

The Bridge

Strolling through the fog,
Wading in the cold,
He walks across a bridge
Waiting here alone

Mist forms into drops
Falling from the sky
From suspension cables
The bridge cuts ‘cross the night.

Lights shine from the bridge
Piercing through the mist
He walks alone, supposing
Dreaming of a tryst

He wonders to himself,
Longing for embrace,
Why is he feeling haunted?
What entity doth chase?

But consciously, he sighs
Knowing his true fate
For it seems he shares his haunting
With each inspired great

“O longing, yearning heart
Tormented, haunted mind
Press ye ever forward
Your muse follows behind.”

The thing that drives him forward
Through the misty night
Yea, that which is his muse
Is the very same fright

“O haunted heart, keep fleeing
For one day you shall see
Your haunting muse has perished
You are finally free!”

He steps onto the land
Here on the northern side
He steps out of the dark
He steps into the light

He turns around and look
Back across the sky
The density of vapor
Obscures the other side

___________

Side note (related to last blog): I plan on never watching a horror movie, because, as anyone else who has experienced demonic stuff would agree, that is one of the most dangerous, real things one can do.

the 1930s and gorillas

I saw King Kong last night. It was intense. I've made a lot of jokes about the word "intense" recently. You know, about camping? (In Tents). Last week, I saw a shirt that said "camping is intense," and then my friend Joel made the same joke. I really don't know Joel all that well, so I probably shouldn't have told him that I didn't think his joke was very funny. I told him that I had just heard that joke recently, so it was funny, but he just so happened to tell the joke at the wrong time.

What I did next was even worse, as I basically made the same joke 3 times in 3 days with different groups of people. They all found it amusing, but I felt bad for Joel, because I didn't laugh when he told it.

Anyway, King Kong was intense. Since a lot of it was filmed in jungles, maybe there actually was some camping going on, so maybe it was also in tents. I liked it, but it was pretty much the creepiest movie I've ever watched. I've never watched a horror movie (and I'm probably not ever going to), so thrillers are what I like for the suspense. The bugs and gross animals were crazy.

This is my first ever movie review, but that wasn't what I was intending to write.

The reason I mention the movie, is that it reminded me that I love the clothes of the 1930s. So, right now, I've been looking at old Sears catalogs from the 1930s online. The coats are amazing. I noticed that our current warm, winter clothes aren't all that different from those of the depression.

I wrote all that at work at the front desk. The rest is coming from the coffee shop on my lunch break. First ever coffee shop blog:

The peacoats and jackets are so awesome. The men's pants and shoes and women's hats are definitely the inspiration for a lot of what people are wearing these days, but the originals look better, for some reason.

I'm staring out the window at the rain falling all over Simpson's empty campus, and imagining what it would look like if that was snow falling (oh, it snowed again on Saturday, at around 11 AM and then again around 1 PM, but nothing stuck). I'm imagining that there are people here and they all are dressed like they're from the 1930s. That would be incredible.

Introduction--My life as an exclamation point

I moved to blogger because I think that it is more respectable than Myspace. I'll still try to post links on myspace for each one, but this is where the writing will be. If you have Mozilla Firefox or the Google Desktop Sidebar or GMail, please subscribe with your RSS, and then you'll know that I posted without having to go on myspace. If you don't know how to do that, then either ask, or don't worry about it.

Blogging has a point. It is my way of sharing myself with the world. A way of exclaiming what is or has gone on in my life. It is important to be open about who I am, and I try to be open in my day-to-day life. But, I'm a quiet person, who doesn't always allow everyone to know everything, simply because I don't talk about everything with everyone.

Whether I have a profound thought or a funny experience, something that occurs to me or happens to me may have an impact on someone's life. Since it is impossible for me to know which things will impact which people, I exclaim my experiences, so the world can hear.

So, my blog is my point of exclamation.

MySpace blog: !@.$%^%$.@.$%@!!!!!

For some reason I have really wanted to swear a lot recently. I haven't, but I think I just mostly want to do different, expressive things because of the fact that the weirdest 4 weeks of my life have just passed.

Remember that blog where I stayed up all night and did random things? I had a very similar experience 2 nights ago. I had another paper due for that same class on Thursday, and I went to Starbucks and worked on it from 8-9 PM. I got a couple pages done, and figured I was being productive, so I could come back and work. It didn't happen.

Between 9 PM and 5:30 AM, I wrote 2 sentences.
I ended up deleting those sentences when I finished the paper the next day.

I read a lot of news online. Ike and Eric were in my room for a couple hours. I cut my hair again. I listened to Transatlanticism (Death Cab) 3 or 4 times, and I got really sick of it. I took a shower. I made a sandwich and ate it. I don't really remember what order stuff happened in, but I do remember that I didn't do any homework.

I slept for 4 hours, went to class, went to work. Then, I had dinner with 15 other people at Thai cafe. Then I went to the first Stirring Creative Team meeting, which was good, I thought. I ended up at Patrick and Bethany's house until around 11:30.

I went to In-N-Out on the way home, and when I got back, ended up in a car with 4 other people, and then I ate my burger in Winco. I went to bed at 2 AM and slept until 2 PM.

I woke up thinking that God had done a miracle while I slept. I could see clearly! For the first time in years, I didn't need contacts to see.

Then, I realized my contacts were in. Somehow, even though I've worn contacts for 8 or 9 years, I went to bed with them in. I vaguely remember doing the same thing a few years ago, but I'm not totally sure.

So, I got up, researched in-ear monitors, because I want some for the worship team, went to Costco in hopes of finding Christmas presents. I ended up buying a polish sausage to eat, and that's it.

Then I came back to school, and kicked a soccer ball around in Eric's room. Then I started my laundry.
Then I started listening to Muse
Then I wrote this blog.

Tonight, I'm going to eat at Burrito Bandito
I might go see King Kong.
My sister is going to be in town tonight, so I'm going to hang out with her and her friends around 11, when they get in town.

At some point before noon tomorrow, I need to clean my room. Of course, that has been the plan ever since I got back from Thanksgiving break.

But, I've spent so many hours doing nothing (reading online, mostly) over the last 3 weeks (the moment-by-moment style of this blog hopefully shows you exactly how unproductive I have become), that I have just wanted to be really expressive. That's the root of the desire to swear. I also want to play electric guitar at full volume, which is unlikely to happen over the next month (Acoustic set at the Stirring this week!). I guess that's also why I felt like listening to Muse right now.
I could also go for throwing a bunch of paint at a canvas or a car right now. Four-wheelin' would be alright. Bungie jumping might be good too.

Pretty much anything BIG would be a lot of fun.

KARATE EXPLOSION.


Oh, also, for some reason, my guitar callouses have gotten gross for the first time ever over the last 3 days. My callouses were always a few layers under the surface, so my fingers didn't look like I play guitar. I've been playing for almost 7? years (all I remember is that I started in December). Finally, they get gross. Maybe because I played ukulele the other night!

Currently listening : Absolution By Muse Release date: 23 March, 2004

MySpace blog: I am eating a candy cane

Well, finals update:

I have 2 A's so far this semester. I also have a new phrase. "Getting A's--it never gets old."

OK, enough bragging. I was going to say it's OK because I put in a lot of hard work, and I'm just proud of my achievements, but that's not true at all. It's more like I didn't work very hard, and I'm thankful that I don't have to work very hard.

It was brought to my attention that I should clarify something about the voids I mentioned in the 2nd to last blog. Those were hypothetical voids, and not all apply to me. None apply to me at every moment of the day. That also explains why I wrote something about a void for a spouse and not a void for a wife. If you look at my profile, you will see next to the word "orientation" that there is a little arrangement of letters that spells "straight." It does not say "Not sure." So, I do not have a void for a spouse. Well, I do, but it's more specifically for a wife. And, like I said, that's not something that is on my mind all the time.

Here come some memories for no apparent reason:

For some reason I just thought of second grade. I'm blogging on the clock right now, and eating a candy cane. I have no idea why I thought of the second grade. I thought of a fight I got in (which was actually in first grade). Actually, it was really a third grader punching me in the mouth. I remember because my tooth got knocked out. But, it was already loose. Then a couple of my bigger friends canned him. That was in Hawaii.

In Kindergarten, I actually slipped on a banana peel and banged my head on a wall. Then I fell to the ground, which was concrete. That was also in Hawaii.

Second grade was the only year I ever played organized sports, and I played soccer. I did pretty well, and by the end of the year, I wasn't the worst player on the team anymore. I remember being the only kid to head the ball all season. I also remember that my team was named the Patriots because of the patriot missiles used in the Persian Gulf War.

I was in Cub Scouts, and we used to march in a parade every Christmas, usually on the first weekend of December. One year, (maybe it was every year) we sang the Hawaiian version of the 12 days of Christmas. In 1991, it was on December 7. I only know that because it was also the 50th anniversary of Pearl Harbor, and President Bush I was at Pearl Harbor that day.

Anyway, it looks like my time as the receptionist this afternoon has come to an end, and therefore my time as a Hawaiian second grader is also over for now. I hope you enjoyed your stay. Thank you.


**edit**

I ended up at the front desk for another 40 minutes. I should have kept going with the whole 2nd grade thing. Oh well.


**2nd edit**

I should clarify my finals update. I have no final exams. Just papers and oral presentations on the papers. I actually think that doing papers is worse than studying for finals, because you can take shortcuts in studying, and I'm pretty good at taking shortcuts. You can take shortcuts in writing, which I do, also, but the problem is that I spend about 75% of my time writing actually slacking off, and about 25% is actually writing. I've never been diagnosed with ADD, but that's just because I've never gone to a psychologist. I'm pretty sure I'm ADD. I'm also pretty sure I am the most successful slacker I know, which means that I continually get lazier and lazier. Each time that I procrastinate and get an A just leads to more procrastination and staying up later.

So, I think I got an A in one class (I had around a 99% in the class up until the final paper and discussion), and I know I got an A in one of my classes, because our final was just watching the movie Luther today during class, so the grades have already been complete. I still have one paper left for Thursday, and I have to read a book before I can write it, because it is a commentary report (you read a Bible commentary on a book of the Bible, and do a book report on it). YUCK!

MySpace blog: Profile song

Yeeha for my new profile song. You know how I was talking about Seven Day Jesus and "O Holy Night?" That's it. Papers suck. I'll tell you the story of today in real life, if you want to hear it. I had the worst feeling because of school that I've ever had in my life. It all worked out, but still, it's a good story.

I'm actually just listening to my profile song, but it was on this CD in the first place. No picture but, whatever. I still remember the way the liner notes for that CD smelled. Weird. I hope you all read my last blog, even though it's long. It's more in the vein of the kinds of things I used to write, back when I was a good writer on myspace :).

By Various Artists Release date: 20 October, 1998

MySpace blog: on Marvel, Perplexity, and Voids

Mystery.

The mystery of mystery.

Not the “mystery of mysteries,” but the mystery of the very concept of mystery is the way it makes me feel. Life is a mystery.

Sometimes, I taste the sweetness of the mystery. The delight of knowing that my life is not and cannot be within my own sphere of control. Those are the times when I feel a God who is a mystery—a God who is beyond my grasp.

In fact, I usually am enthralled by the notion of a mysterious God. I usually embrace the way that my own life is a mystery. I usually say I know who I am, but at the same time, I know that my life is mysterious in that I have no idea how things will play out, because I am constrained by the flow of time through the universe.

The word “marvel” encapsulates best what I mean. To say that something is “marvelous” is to say that its mysterious nature creates awe. I used the word “marvel” in the song I wrote, “The Love of a Holy King,” to express my typical love of mystery.

Usually, I love mystery. Today, I wish it would all just resolve. I cannot think of a concrete reason why I feel so perplexed today. A few weeks ago, I had reason for perplexity, but I thought my confused state had faded away in the rear view mirror of time.

I seek mystery. I have a longing for the indescribable. I am on a quest for the marvelous.

Today, I wish my world was rational and linear.

Perhaps watching Eternal Sunshine and using the word “linear” to describe what it was not made me realize how cyclical and loopy our universe is.

David Lim led worship at the Stirring tonight. Certain things in my life have come full circle to where they were when he left. I realized today that my life has come into a place oddly construed to my life situation in the Fall of 2004.

Perhaps I am merely in this state of mind (no, it’s more than just a state-of-mind, it involves the spirit, body, and mind) because it’s the end of the semester. I have a daunting workload tonight, and I also have realized in recent days the imminence of the “real world.” As soon as I finish this semester, I begin my final semester as a college student. Then what? I don’t know. Redding? Grad School? Africa? Seriously, I still am thinking about that Africa idea. I don’t know what it would be, but I’m thinking about it.

Perhaps my thought last night has spurred me on toward this perplexity. Likely, you have heard some allusion made to the “God-shaped hole,” that we each have. I don’t even know who coined the term, and if anyone knows, do share. I realized that when we try to fill the hole with other things, it is impossible. However, is it possible that when we fill the hole with God, he remains hollow, leaving other desires in us? Or, maybe we have other holes to be filled, other voids in our system of desire.

A void for a spouse. A void for a career. A void for causing change in the world. A void for friends, meaningful friends. A void for dreams.

Perhaps dreams are simply voids. We know what we want. When what could be becomes what should be, a void is formed in the depths of me. Nothing can fill that void but the realization of the dream. Sometimes, the wound of desire will heal itself, and what is a desire for a season will be gone. Nevertheless, the walls of the hole become a part of my heart, a part of my uttermost being.

I realized this evening that I have so many voids—so many yearnings. I suppose my perplexity is rooted in my inability to determine which void I should pursue first. Amazing how writing solves so many problems. As soon as I wrote the word “pursue,” I realized that all I need to pursue is God, who fills the greatest void, the one we all share. The strangest thing is that I have listened to the song “Invitacion Fountain” (I don’t know why it’s spelled that way, because the Violet Burning is American) around 7 times in a row now. I actually just wrote the chorus lyrics down before I started this paragraph:

“If you lead me Lord, I will follow,
Where you lead me Lord, I will go
Come and heal me Lord, I will follow,
Where you lead me Lord, I will go.”

2 Corinthians 4:7-10 (New Living Translation):

“But this precious treasure—this light and power that now shine within us—is held in perishable containers, that is, in our weak bodies. So everyone can see that our glorious power is from God and is not our own.

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going. Through suffering, these bodies of ours constantly share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.”

If you skimmed that, at least go back and read the parts around the word “perplexed.”

It’s always amazing when God meets me and then shows me the verse that fits my situation. But, this, specifically, is a new experience for me. In the past, I’ve found the solution to a conundrum, and then blogged about it, but never before have I been writing a blog and had a huge epiphany in the middle of writing. It’s happened for class work and journaling in the past, but not for a blog. I guess this blog is the most journal-like of all the blogs I’ve written. I was reluctant to write at first, because it meant putting off my homework for a half hour or so, but I knew that my answer was waiting for me if I’d write.

One practical step I’m going to take, in addition to solitude, is to start listening to “worship music” again. I have always listened to the stuff, and I’m not quite sure when that stopped. Sometime in the last 3 or 4 months, I guess. I hadn’t even noticed until just now.

Here are all the lyrics to “Invitacion Fountain,” if you want them:

All who are weak
All who are weary
Come to the Rock
Come to the Fountain
All who have sailed
On the rivers of heartache
Come to the sea,
Come on, and be set free!

If You lead me Lord, I will follow
Where You lead me Lord, I will go
Come, and heal me Lord, I will follow
Where You lead me Lord, I will go

All who are weak
All who are weary
Come to the Rock
Come to the Fountain
Let all who have climbed
On the mountains of heartbreak
Reach to the sky
Come on, and give your life

Heal me.
Heal me.

All who are weak
All who are weary
All who are tired
All who are thirsty
All who have failed
All who are broken
Come to the Rock
Come to the Fountain

By Michael Pritzl

***edit (15 minutes later)***
I realized that while the amount of time I spend listening to worship music dropped a lot over the summer, I actually didn't completely stop listening to it until I got back from Thanksgiving break, which is also when I started staying up for ridiculous amounts of time and not caring about school anymore. I pretty much have just gotten lazy in everything. I need to pursue God! Maybe I need to think about the song "Draw Me Close," even more than I have been recently. I think those lyrics really apply too.

Currently listening : If You Say Go By Various Artists Release date: 2002

MySpace blog: Silent Night

Christmas parties are nice. That's a rather vague word. But, I suppose the reason for me saying that Christmas parties are nice is because I don't really know what to think of them. I enjoy being at parties, with people, but before I go to parties, I don't particularly look forward to them. I think that's because I have so much school stuff hanging over my head. Or maybe I'm craving solitude. More on that later.

Last night, we had a little party (not really a Christmas party) at James' house, which is a really amazing house. This is what the front of James' house looks like (and some of the people):

We watched "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," which I bought the other day. I hadn't seen it before. It was an amazing movie, but incredibly weird. That's also the reason I used the word "nice." That word is a recurring theme in the movie.

Before the movie, there was a little dance party that I didn't take part in. The best part, I thought, was when Caleb taught a few people how to line dance. I tried that and failed. Here's a picture of most of the people who tried line dancing, and Caleb trying to teach us:

I wasn't in any of the pictures, so I got back and took a picture of myself. That's what my profile pic is. That' s kind of weird, but it was around 2 AM, so I have an excuse (?).

Tonight, I went to a Christmas party at Theresa’s house. As with the last time I was at Theresa’s house, Jackson commandeered the remote control once the TV came on, and we enjoyed a Sharks’ game. I think I’m going to go to a game later in the month with Jackson and some others. I haven’t been to a hockey game before, and I’d like to.

After we left, I was driving back by myself and saw some amazing Christmas lights.

Have you ever gone and looked at Christmas lights alone? It’s really peaceful and soothing. The fact that I was listening to Death Cab made me wish I had a girl with me for a split second, but I decided it was nice enough alone. I decided to start being alone more again. I think that’s what made last summer so amazing. I’ve turned into this little socialite, and I miss my solitude, I think. Too many Christmas parties, I suppose.

Being alone in my room doing homework or going online or playing guitar is one thing. Going on drives or sitting outside with my guitar or going on walks are entirely different. I need more of that. I actually enjoy doing all those types of things with people more than the other stuff I do with people, too. Maybe I should just start doing what I really like doing.

“And I think to myself what a wonderful world.” That line just came on.

Currently listening : The Very Best of Louis Armstrong By Louis Armstrong Release date: 18 March, 2003

MySpace blog: Not worth reading.

I decided yesterday that I'm only going to blog when it's worth actually reading. So, I'm breaking that by saying this.

I just got the splinter out of my toe. What happened was that I had about an 1/8 inch sticking out of my toe when I got it last night, so I pulled, and about another 1/4 inch came out of my toe, so I thought I got it all.

All day, it hurt, and I could tell that the tip of the splinter was still in there. I just got that "tip" out, and it turns out that the tip was about 1/4" long. I have witnesses, to prove I'm not exaggerating. It was sticking straight into the middle of my toe.

The real reason I had to blog is that before I got my 100th blog comment in the second week of June, I warned everyone so they could try to get it. Right now, I have 999 blog comments. Next comment wins a prize.

Alright, that's all. I'm going to a party. I'm listening to "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" right now. I like the song a lot.

Currently listening : Christmas with the Rat Pack By Frank Sinatra Release date: 22 October, 2002

MySpace blog: The History of my blog and a summary of last summer.

For some reason, Eric, Ike, and I have been thinking recently about how awesome last summer was. I love where things are right now (besides school), but summer was so chill. Maybe that's why we've been thinking about it, because we are hitting the end of the semester, and longing for no homework, and the last time we had no homework was the summer.

Anyway, I just read most of my blogs from March until the middle of July. That was definitely the Golden Age of this blog.

Some of the writing caused me to say, "wow, I wrote that?? How poetic!" Other parts caused me to say, "wow, I wrote that??? How pathetic!"

The stuff I did over the summer was absolutely hilarious and adventurous, though. I also grew up a lot. Reading all of that stuff is really encouraging for me.

I don't understand why I have 50 blog subscribers now (just crossed that plateau the other day). My blogs suck compared to the summer.

Just for kicks, I counted you subscribers, and there are 28 girls and 22 guys. See, that's where I'm paying for sucky blogs. I used to have like 8 girl subscribers and 0 guys. Or 16 girls and 4 guys. That kind of stuff. ;) That's the typical Josh-use of winks (sarcasm), not an attempt to pick up on all 28 girls.

I also saw in the summer-me a creative, worshiping man who loved sitting outside watching thunderstorms and singing. I'm so thankful that there were so many storms this summer, because I really learned what it meant to worship the God of the heavens, and I wrote a song about it! I also spent some incredible times laying on a grassy hill staring at the stars for hours, playing the guitar. I saw a man who learned to keep his eyes open in worship, to experience God with all his senses.

I read some blogs that show that although I'm Mr. Single, I still have ideas of what romance is. On the other hand, I made statements like, "I like funerals more than weddings," but there are a lot of weird things all throughout the blog that only make sense when you read them in context!

I read some blogs that are really similar to ones I've written in the last 4 months (this semester), showing that i go through similar situations more than once (for example, both the summer and this semester have blogs ripping on eric for being stupid).

A few weeks ago, I decided that when I go home for Christmas, I am really going to copy all my blogs into Word Documents, and I also want to make a list of the 10 or 15 blogs that are most important for you to read to get a good picture of who I am. So, expect that.

Right now, I have a splinter in my left big toe. There was a phase over the summer when I was writing about all of my current (at the time) physical problems, and it is absolutely hilarious the way that i hurt my foot one night. That month when I was really itchy (June) still confuses me, and reading about it makes my head itch.

Tonight, I created the term "social nomad." I realized that I am a social nomad, in the sense that I hang with one group of friends for awhile, then move to another. I do have a consistent set of close friends. When I stop hanging out with certain people, it's not because I like them any less, but because I just am not doing the same things as them (it's not personal, just contextual, and right now, I'm just not being very social, because of school and commitments--a plethora of Christmas parties). I know people get hurt by my social nomadism, so I'm sorry if that's the case. The reason this applies to my summer is that a lot of the people I know now I met or got to know a lot better over the summer. Also, there are a lot of people I got to know a lot better this semester. Thanks for being you, everybody!

Check out my profile, if you haven't recently. The background picture looks really cool when you scroll down so that the comments show up on the TV. That was just an accident, but I like it. Accidents are fun.

Can you believe I am listening to this????????????
She used to be a worship leader though, and for some reason, any artist, no matter what style, who used to lead worship or still does manages to find a way into my CD collection (e.g. Robert Randolph). But the truth is, I just like music, no matter what it is, and in my efforts to expand my tastes, I got a ton of CDs from my sister, who has a huge variety in tastes, and I pretty much like everything I took from her.

Currently listening : Unwritten By Natasha Bedingfield Release date: 14 December, 2004

MySpace blog: Daily dose of odds and ends

I decided to switch my picture back, in honor of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe coming out.

I bought the new Relient K EP today, because of how it sounds. I think they are really talented musicians, and often I wish they weren't pop-punk. Most of the songs on this EP are acoustic or piano-pop songs. I wish they'd just do that all the time. One song is even based on the themes of Narnia, so maybe I'm just excited about the movie, or something. If you like Death Cab or Ben Folds, you might like the sound of the EP I bought.

I also bought a CD yesterday by the band Matthew, which is the new band for the former lead singer of Seven Day Jesus. I only got the CD beause I was thinking about Seven Day Jesus after my "O Holy Night" blog. Actually, the Matthew CD came out in 2002. It's good.

iTunes is stealing all my money. iTunes is good because they have so many little indie artists, like Matthew.

I bought a whole pizza at Costco today.

I am listening to more of the interview with Bono right now. He is currently talking about how music and our relationships with God are intertwined, and how that was the only part of church that resonated with him as a child.

I just noticed that on the back of the current nickel, the phrase, "O the joy!" is present. That's quite entertaining. O, the joys of modern currency.

I think I should mention that each paragraph of this blog started with the letter I.

MySpace blog: the mormon kid and his sled (picture)

I forgot to post the picture with the last blog. I looked like a mormon, and because of the way I wrapped the shovel, it looked like a sled. This was taken in front of our dorm's Christmas tree, which is located right in front of my room.



Wow, I look really mouse-y in that picture. Maybe we should play a little game and figure out what animal I most look like!


In addition (side note), I'd like to say that living in the tension between being a lifelong nailbiter and trying to grow out my fingernails for guitar playing is very hard, and annoying.

Currently listening : They're Only Chasing Safety By UnderOath Release date: 15 June, 2004

MySpace blog: On Bono, Elephants, “O Holy Night,” Predestination, and Sleeping or 3 Joshes or My Depression

I am fascinated with podcasts. Friday night, I downloaded some more podcasts from the guys from xxxchurch, and an interview by the editor of Rolling Stone magazine with Bono. The first podcast was an interview by the xxxchurch guys with Rob Bell, who is a pastor, and the guy who is in the Nooma videos, if you’ve seen those. He has a lot of good things to say.

The second interview, the Bono one, is over 2 hours long, and I only got about half an hour into it on Saturday afternoon, but it was really intriguing to learn about who he is and where he came from. Hearing about his childhood explains a lot about why he is so focused on fighting poverty, and explains a lot about where U2’s lyrics are coming from.

So, Friday night, I was downloading/listening to these things, and went to bed at 4:25 AM. I woke up at 3ish in the afternoon, and by the time I got out of bed and showered, it was 4 PM. I spent the afternoon doing laundry and listening to the podcasts, and not cleaning my incredibly messy room. It’s the messiest my room has been in my entire life, which is still not as bad as a lot of peoples’ rooms, but I can’t stand it. My room just gets messy at the end of the semester every semester. Homework and clean rooms are mutually exclusive in my life.

________________

That night, I went to Emily’s Christmas party, and Josh Mello and I decided to dress up for no reason. I was going to wear a blue shirt, tie, tan pants, and sweater, but I wanted to look like a Mormon, so I put on a white shirt instead. The best part of it all was that I brought a dirty shovel with me. Imagine being all dressed up with a dirty shovel. Great times.

The dirty shovel was left over from Friday night’s 4-wheelin’ adventure. It was my white elephant gift. It was perfect. I wrapped it in a cardboard box and duct tape. I even made a duct tape bow. Josh and I took pictures of ourselves in front of our floor’s Christmas tree.

The party started at 7, and we ended up staying there until 4 AM, just playing games. I played an old game called “Foil,” that is a fun word game, with really unique cards. They have a retro feel to them, and we were serious when we all agreed they’d make great wallpaper. Phase 10 is a lot of fun at 3 AM. I hadn’t played that before either.

Weird things happen when you hang out at that time. Kate had a glove on her foot to keep it warm, and I thought she just had those socks with toes on them. About half-an-hour after she put the glove on her foot, she moved her foot and I thought she had a rat on her lap (she was sitting cross-legged). Then, she started to move her foot so that it looked like she was trying to grab something. Seeing someone with a foot for a hand is quite amusing at 3 AM.

So, I got to bed at 5:20 AM on Sunday morning, and woke up at Noon.

_______________

The Stirring was very unique and special for me last night, because a song I have been “planning” for 6 years finally came into being. “O Holy Night” is my favorite Christmas Carol (does anyone know what a “carol” is?), and in 1998 or 99, I heard a version of the song done by the band Seven Day Jesus (if you know who they are, represent! Post a comment!).

I liked their arrangement of the song, and started working on my own, with some ideas from theirs. Over the years, it has evolved, with help from my friend, Josh Berruto, who used to be the worship leader at my home church. Last year, it picked up some jazz chords, too. I remember being a sophomore or junior in High School and picturing myself leading that song. I think it was a High Schoolers’ rockstar dream (but being a worship team person, it was a bit different than a rockstar dream).

I love the arrangement so much that I play it during the summer, and just don’t sing. So, last night, I really wanted to play it. I had forgotten about my rockstar worship-leader dreams, because I’m not that way anymore. But, I was really nervous to play it, because it was the first time a Christmas song was done at the Stirring, and I had put a lot of work into the arrangement. It was my baby, and I wanted it to be accepted.

When I get nervous, I get an adrenaline rush. When I get and adrenaline rush, there is some post-adrenaline depression afterwards. Years ago, my dad went to a pastors’ conference that taught about the way adrenaline affects pastors worship leaders after the service. I get really quiet, tired, and hungry. Add all that to the fact that I hadn’t eaten much, and I was really not feeling very good after the Stirring. The song went really well, the other Christmas song was good, and the night went really well, I think. I’m not sure. Only worship team people have told me that. But, I still was feeling crappy afterwards, when I remembered I had a 5 page paper to write that I had completely forgotten about.

The thing about Post Adrenaline Depression, is that sometimes, it basically makes me act like I’m drunk (I think) or tired. Some weeks, I’ll be really goofy and think everything is funny, or I’ll act immaturely. This week, I was just feeling blue, and then I remembered the paper. The adrenaline just amplified everything, so I alternated between wanting to throw up and wanting to cry. I don’t mean that I was really in despair, so don’t pity me, but I just wanted to cry just because.

So, I ate something, wrote a long blog, and was about to post it, thinking my crappy night was going to get better. Then, I deleted the blog accidentally. It was around 10 PM at that point, and I was so not motivated to write my paper, that I didn’t start until 2:30 or 3 AM, and I didn’t finish until 4 AM.

The paper was on predestination, which is a topic I love to talk about, but I also hate talking about. I have spent good times with friends this semester talking about the topic, have written things for other classes, and studied it in 2 classes this semester. I love the topic, but I’m sick of it right now, so the paper was not fun at all. That’s why I felt crappy last night, hence my previous blog.

I suppose I am learning about the connection between the way we take care of ourselves physically and the way we feel emotionally. I should be sleeping more. Here are my bedtimes for the last 7 days:
Monday—stayed up all night
Tuesday—went to bed at 8 PM, woke up at 9 AM
Wednesday—went to bed at 2 AM
Thursday—went to bed at 3 AM
Friday—went to bed at 4:25 AM, woke up at 3 PM
Saturday—went to bed at 5:20 AM
Sunday—went to bed at 4:30 AM

Bleh. I feel really relaxed right now. But I’m pretty sure that lethargic is a better descriptor. Something happened today that I was going to write about, but I forget what it was. I wrote most of this blog during my Genesis class, but I finished it in my room. Not that anyone cares about that, except I was blogging in the classroom. The abbreviation for that is BITC, which looks like it’s going somewhere that it isn’t, so I’m going to rename this phenomenon, BW“L”—for Blogging While “Learning.” I had a better acronym, BOIL, but I forget what it stood for. Send in your suggestions, please!

I remembered what happened today—I got my credit card bill. It’s exciting when your credit card bill is only for $37. I always pay it off at the end of the month, and $37 is a lot more manageable than $38 or anything more :).

MySpace blog: Blog Failure: Bono, Predestination, "O Holy Night," Sleeping, and Elephants

Current mood: crappy

I wrote a pretty long blog about the last 2 days, and how all the things in the title of this blog played/are playing major parts. It also was a detailed description of why I am feeling crappy right now. Then, I accidentally closed the window that the blog preview was in, and lost the entire blog. Now I feel really lame. I will probably re-write it sometime tomorrow.

I will say that if you were at the stirring, I didn't want to talk to you because I was already feeling crappy. Sorry. I am usually not a jerk, and most of you know that.

Currently listening : O By Damien Rice Release date: 10 June, 2003

MySpace blog: My dirty truck

A few days ago, Jackson had suggested heading over to Burrito Bandito tonight. I knew that Meridith and Muang thought it was a good idea, and I knew I thought it was a good idea. So, around 5:50, I called Jackson, and when he didn't answer, I tried Ike. This is way more detailed than it needs to be. Sorry.

Long story short: I ended up leaving campus to join them, then came back to pick up Eric and Sarah Stahly (Ike's sister) with me, and when we got there, we found out that there were a ton of other friends there.

Warning: this part is boring.
Here's the list (I'm going to try to go down one side of the table and back up the other, and use last names--challenging!): Theresa Holman, Erika Pruitt, Jackson Lanterman, Rachael Vonhof, Ike Stahly, Caleb Little, Eric Henneberque, Sarah Stahly, (the end of the table), me, Brett Sanders, Sarah Kriz, Leah Rush, Becca Feenstra, Meridith Johnson, Muang Saechao, and James Wilson. That's a lot of people to have dinner together when the closest birthday is Ike's/Jesus' (Ike's birthday is Christmas day).

After dinner, we were leaving, and Ike and Sarah were riding with me. I made some lame joke about me being their family's personal driver. Then Caleb pulled up. If you don't know Caleb, I'll try to introduce you to him right now. Caleb grew up on the ranch, and was an Offensive Lineman for a state college in Oregon before he transferred to Simpson. Since I don't want to write a personal ad for Caleb, you could sum him up as a good ol' country boy. Caleb told me follow him, and Jackson followed me.

Sarah, Ike, and I had no idea where we were going, but we ended up at a field....

No, I like the word thicket better, because I want to watch Bambi.

So we ended up at a thicket that had a partially flooded dirt track around it. I was out of gas, so we left and got gas, while the other two trucks stayed. Caleb was by himself in his truck, and Jackson had James, Meridith, Erika, and Becca. Supposedly everyone who is on myspace is going to write their own blog about this night.

When we got back, both of their trucks were stuck. Caleb had gotten stuck trying to pull Jackson out. Oh, by the way, Jackson's truck was probably 50 feet away from the solid ground, and had sunk all the way, so that the axles were resting on the "ground."

After awhile (maybe half an hour), Caleb got free.

I left with Ike and Meridith to get tow straps and shovels, then came back. We were gone for probably 45 minutes, and in that time, Caleb got stuck again, but a lot worse than the first time. Caleb's uncle and cousin came with another truck, and Caleb's truck came out once more.

I headed back to Simpson to drop off Becca, and Ike, Sarah, and I picked up warmer clothes and my video camera. We were gone for 40 minutes.

Jackson ended up being stuck for another hour or so. We finally got him out at about 11:20, which wasn't too bad at all (compared to previous experiences we four-wheelers have had). We had a half-hour of fun, then 3 hours of getting Jackson out. The fun I had was in driving through the mud puddles leaving and returning to the place where Jackson got stuck.

This is a whole lot less funny than it should have been, and even less interesting. I did have to write it, because we all are planning to write our own version, just to see if we come up with different takes on things. But, it was a fun night. All the people involved are fun people, and no one was the kind of person who whines the whole time when trucks get stuck.

It took both Caleb's truck and his uncle's to get Jackson out. A few tow straps snapped in the process.

We hid in a trench when Caleb and his uncle were trying to pull Jackson free, because we didn't want to get hit when the chain/straps snapped. Ike, James, and I made a war documentary while we were in the trench, which worked really well, since we were across the street from the Redding Airport, so the control tower kept flashing. Earlier, Meridith, Ike, and I were sitting in my truck listening to Coldplay, and watching the shadows flashing from the control tower. That was very weird. Coldplay is good music for that.

I guess this is kind of interesting: the smells tonight were weeeeirrrd. We all ate burrito bandito, so everything smelled like that. When we got back in my truck when we came to school, it had been passenger-less for about 15 minutes, and still smelled like burritos. Also, we were in a swampy field, which is the reason there was some sort of animal fecal matter that was creating strange olfactory sensations in our nasal regions. Right now, I smell like smoke for some reason. Or maybe pastrami. Seriously. I mean, my sweatshirt smells that way, not me!



Jackson's truck. It was worse than it looks here, because a few of the guys had already been digging behind the truck to help it get free.




Caleb's truck. I mostly put this in here so you could see how wet it was, and how muddy his truck got.




Sara, Erika, and I hiding in the trench. I found my old hat the other day! I'm going to have to start wearing it a lot. I think I look really asian in this picture. But that's OK. I'm asian.


This is one of my most favorite songs ever (I'm proud of the fact I grew up in Charles Schulz' hometown) and there's nothing like the original instrumental version:

Christmastime is here. Happiness and cheer....

This blog isn't even that long, but it took me 58 minutes to write.

Currently listening : A Charlie Brown Christmas By the vince guaraldi trio

MySpace Blog: A normal blog--kind of. Normal for me is pretty random.

I did something really random tonight. After watching the Simpson Basketball team win by 30, which is pretty random in and of itself, I needed to start writing a paper (yet another!)

But first, I needed to go to the Eureka Way Starbucks and visit my friend James, because I told him I'd stop by, and I just felt like it. So, seeing as it was the first day of December, I thought I'd put down my windows. I was going to say "roll," but you don't really roll down electronic windows. I can't even remember what they're called, but I'm pretty sure the word I'm looking for isn't "electronic." I still haven't written my paper. crap.

5 minutes later: Powered Windows! I remember!

Anyway, I lowered my windows and drove across Redding in the cold chill of a December night (it's not too bad tonight--upper 40s, but damp and really windy), staying warm by beanie, gloves, and scarf, of course. I guess I wasn't really warm, but it was quite fun.

So, I visited James, got some green tea, and just drove around downtown, making up songs really loudly with the windows down. The songs I thought up were mostly about making up songs really loudly with the windows down while driving downtown on a cold December night. It might turn into the other part of a song I half wrote 10 months ago about my friendship with my sister, since it's about what I did on the night of her birthday when I was hundreds of miles away from her. I'll mess with it tomorrow, and see what happens.

Anyway, try it sometime: Drive around your local downtown with the windows down on a cold night, and sing songs loud enough for any passing vagrant to think that you are crazy. It's delicious.
________________________

Currently I'm listening to a podcast of the guys from XXXChurch interviewing one of the guys who made the movie "Invisible Children." Really interesting.

I've gotten really into Podcasts the last 2 days. I stayed up until 3 listening to some last night, and I don't even own an ipod.

Oh, the "swear word of the day" is "Sarcophagus." I only say that because I'm about to use it.

Sarcophagus! I just discovered that it is not supposed to snow again next Monday. Yesterday, they were predicting that it would snow. Holy Mormon Underwear!

One more thing. Everyone download Mozilla Firefox. If you use Windows, then Firefox is way better than Explorer, and I hear from Mac users that it is the superior web browser for Macs.

The biggest reason for all you myspace people to do that is because you can block ads! Just right-click on the slutty ads, and hit "block images," and you'll never see that specific ad again. It takes awhile to block all the dirty myspace ads, but it's worth it!

Also, Firefox blocks spyware and there are all kinds of cool extras to it. And a new version just came out, so I guess now is a good time for me to plug it.

MySpace blog: AIDS

Today is world AIDS day.

I know there's not a lot I can do about AIDS where I am, but I'd just encourage everyone to pray for people who suffer from this huge epidemic. I know some people try to say it is a judgment from God, but that's ridiculous. I was listening to a podcast from one.org last night, and Tony Campolo mentioned that over 60% of those in Africa who have AIDS have been victimized in some way, and are not responsible for having the disease.

Another thing you can do, if you'd like, is get involved somehow politically. You've probably all seen the little white "One" wristbands, and apparently the campaign is making a difference. I got involved in it in May or June. www.one.org

I feel really weird promoting this kind of thing, because I usually let it stay personal, but there you have it.

__________________

Totally unrelated things:

Happy Birthday to Lauren (my sister), who hit the big 2-0!

I just took a nap. Oh the joys of napping.

I'm at work right now. BOTC.

I'm listening to whatever Christmas CD the receptionist Lori had on before I came up here to give her a break.