MySpace blog: Crazy night

You're all going to think I have an unhealthy addiction after reading this one. I'm not going to try to defend myself, because then you'll just say that I'm in denial. But now that i said that, I can disprove you all. I'm only writing this to show everyone that I am like a superhero, because I have odd tendencies at night.

I am in the process of pulling my first ever school-caused all-nighter. I started writing my paper at 8 PM. By 2:30 AM, I had 1 page done. Woo hoo. I once wrote 7 pages single spaced in an hour and a half. That was for fun. This paper is for school, hence the lack of motivation. I am a very laid back kind of guy. I feel so little stress and worry about busyness, that I always am unmotivated to do stuff. I do realize now that I was incredibly stressed out about school and busyness until the beginning of last week. I just didn’t feel it until it all came to the surface through the one thing I do worry about (and a lot)—my friendships, and I had a run-in with melancholy. To those involved in that situation, let it be known that there was more than just relational stuff involved, there was also a lot of personal stress that I didn’t realize was there until a few days ago. Thanks for putting up with me!

But anyway, this blog is not meant to be deep. It is an explanation of what I did all night while I was “writing my paper.” The truth is, I could have gotten the paper done between 8 PM and midnight, but I didn’t. So, here’s why I didn’t get any sleep:

Myspace—I kept going on it every half hour or so. GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! (that’s my new noise of frustration—a light-hearted sort of frustration).

I cut my hair. I do this about once every-other week.

I took a shower.

I tried different collared shirts on with different sweaters.

I did a lot of dancing in weird ways to keep myself awake. Shh.. I don’t want everyone to know that goes on behind closed doors. That’s why I wrote about it on my blog, because I figure this is a safe place where no one will hear about it ;). I just don’t dance in public (If I have my guitar strapped to the front of me, I’m more likely to move in public!)

I realized once that I was combining the last two things I mentioned (clothes and dancing), and I was essentially stripping. Weird.

I also tried to move only my knees and keep my torso completely still.

I ate a bunch of shortbread cookies.

I invented a new trend—wearing two scarves at once, with them wrapped in opposite directions, but ultimately with the ends going the same way. It works; try it.

At 4 in the morning, Eric finally came back to his room, and gave me a part of a giant cookie.

I did jumping jacks at 4:07 AM in my room, spinning circles, while holding my umbrella

I did jumping jacks at 4:08 in the morning barefoot….in the snow.

At 4:09 I sniffed a sharpie--as a joke (eric was still up then)

I grew a long beard. This is what I’d look like if I let my artsy-fartsy tree-lovin side take over the rest of the way.

Now that I think about it, I pretty much am an artsy-fartsy guy. Maybe I’m just saying that because it’s 4:26 AM right now. I have 2 pages done right now out of 8. Holy Mormon Underwear! (That’s Eric’s and my little swear word that one of us came up with over the summer. It was probably him, but I don’t really remember).

I think of a lot of weird things at this unholy time of the day.

I listened to a lot of music that is new to me.

Now I am going to finish this paper, and probably go to starbucks then eat breakfast, then go to work, and then class. Next, I have to write a 5 page paper (after I do the research for it), read a book, and write a 3 page book critique. Those are due tomorrow. I wonder if I can make it through 60 hours without any sleep?

If anyone is deeply in love with me, you have a few options:
#1 Do my homework for me.
#2 Kidnap me after my 60^th waking hour, drive to Reno, and take me to the wedding chapel. I will probably be so drowsy that I’ll say “I do.”

None of this is probably funny to anyone, but it’s 4:48 now, and I’m sleepy. This sucks. I have written more for this blog in the last 25 minutes than I have written for my paper in the last 9 hours.

Holy Mormon underwear.

Odds and Ends:

*Whole Wheat pasta is good.

*I’m going to learn a bunch of jazzy Christmas songs this year. I really want to learn “Baby it’s Cold Outside,” but I can’t sing the girl part too. There are a lot of other great songs on this CD, though.

Currently listening : Christmas with the Rat Pack By Frank Sinatra Release date: 22 October, 2002

MySpace blog: Winter Wonderland

This week is one of the worst homework weeks of my life. Tonight, I have to write a 10 page paper that I haven't started yet!

Here are some pictures of the snow (this will be nice for you non-redding types). There are some new pictures of me from today in my pictures, if you care for that sort of thing.


The view of Redding from my friend Jonathan's apartment. The sundial bridge is at the center. It was raining by this point, and it was around 5 PM, so the sun was down. My current main picture was taken right after this one, so I obviously edited the color in that one.



The pond that I always take pictures of with snow this time


The creek behind Simpson, known by a few of us as "the frigid torrent." I do think this is probably the most frigid the thing has ever been. As the snow melts, I presume it will be quite torrential, as well.


Me in front of the frigid torrent.

It's funny. I started writing this blog and the picture of me laying in the leaves was still staring back at me. It's funny how fast seasons change. It's a lot like life. Sometimes the start of the season is marked by a bit of a storm, but the wintry snowscape is worth the coldness.

I sat in the cafeteria and played piano for about 40 minutes while it was snowing today (during the hardest snow--between 2 and 3 PM). The walls in the back of the cafeteria are all windows, so I got to watch it snow. I just sat and played Christmas songs and then improvised a bit with some jazzy chords. That was really fun.

Other thoughts on snow:
*I went from owning zero scarves on Saturday to owning 3 by last night. Great timing!

*I was hoping it would snow this year, then I stepped outside to go to class, and it was snowing. I had no idea that was even a remote possibility today. Strange how that worked out.

*You have to listen to jazz or some other "chill" music when it snows.

*Every girl looks prettier when it snows (that's a general statement inspired by every girl I saw today). That may have more to do with the way snow makes me feel than with the actual beauty of females.

*I am much more apt to think a guy is good looking when it snows than if it isn't. That has nothing to do with the way snow makes me feel, and everything to do with the fact that snow is nice.

*You should always write your papers ahead of time, because you never know when it's going to snow and you're going to want to play/relax, but you have to write a paper. aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

I'm still listening to this CD, and it's still awesome, and listening to funk and blues is great when it snows. I think Frank Sinatra will be next, though.

Currently listening : Try! John Mayer Trio Live in Concert By John Mayer Trio Release date: 22 November, 2005

MySpace blog: Let It Snow

I'm in class right now. This is the first time I've ever blogged in class. I get wireless internet in here. It's snowing outside right now. This is the first time I've ever seen it snow at Simpson. This is the first blog I've ever written while it was snowing outside. I re-wrote "Let it Snow," during class, so here it is:

O, the weather outside is frightful
But this class is so delightful
And since we’re not allowed to go,
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

It does show signs of stopping
Jonathan gave me stuff for shopping
My quiz score is getting low,
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

When the teacher is lecturing
He tells jokes and that is his charm
If I just keep taking notes,
My laptop will keep my hands warm.

Our attention is slowly dying
And, the teacher is still trying
But as long as we’re "learning" so
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

MySpace blog: Leggo of my lego

First, you need to read this article, or you're not going to get anything out of this blog. Crazy Lego Man.

(If you read this after the link is gone, then the article is about a guy in Oregon who stole $250,000 of Lego by switching the barcodes. He stole from a Target over an extended period of time.)

If you didn't catch it, that was written by a South African News company. I really want to move to South Africa.

Because it was written by South Africans, and not Americans, the author's understanding of our government and postal service is clearly not the best, shown by the statement, "US Postal Service agents who searched...."

At first, I didn't even notice that US Postal Service agents were mentioned. Eric pointed that out to me.

Then, I thought, "Weird. I would have expected the FBI to do that, or a local police department."

Then I realized, "Wait a sec. The US Postal Service doesn't have agents."

Then I thought of the band "The Postal Service."

Then I imagined what US Postal Service agents would be like.

Then Eric told me that he thinks there are Postal Service agents that just investigate mail fraud and that sort of thing, but he's not sure if they are called agents. They definitely would not be invading Lego Man's house.

So, when I grow up, I want to be a secret postal service agent. Like a plainclothes mailman, I will terrorize your dog.

My ankles itch. It's the old I-wore-socks-for-too-long problem.

By the way, this CD is amazing. I thought John Mayer was OK before, but I knew his guitar playing was awesome. Now that he's gone blues, I think he's a genius.

Currently listening : Try! John Mayer Trio Live in Concert By John Mayer Trio Release date: 22 November, 2005

MySpace blog: Personal Best (Worst?): 4 blogs in one day

Current mood: hungry

I stopped at a casino on the way back to Redding. I lost $1.75. I got 2 free sodas. I was in there for all of 10 minutes (if that). You know how I said I was going to try new things? I feel like an amish kid who is on his rumspringa (the time when they try out stuff and decide if they want to stay amish). I want to stay as amish as I am!

I am also returning to some old stuff. For example, I'm listening to screamo again, which I haven't really done for the last year and a half, but I was into that stuff for about 6 months.

I also stopped at the Gap Outlet and bought some stuff. I finally own some scarves. I used to hate scarves. But now I like them, so I own a scarf for the first time in my life (actually 2 of them).

I'm sure that Jackson is sickened by the very mention of the word "Gap."

Either the previous blog was too long or you were all disgusted by the self-promotion of my 10,000th blog view and refused to comment. I'm not sure which.

I'm hungry again. And I still dig that smiley.

Currently listening : The Weak's End By Emery Release date: 27 January, 2004

MySpace blog: This is bad. I'm already blogging excessively again.

Current mood: hungry

Woohoo!!!! I'm most excited that I actually got to see this momentous number. The reason it says I have 5 posts today and this week is because of the problems with trying to post that last blog. the 152 total posts is accurate. But, if you will kindly gaze upon those 5 consecutive zeros. This is much like watching a car roll over the 100,000 mile mark. It means it's old. I feel as though I have watched my life roll over into something new, and now I need to eat special motor oil.

OK, it's fun, but not a big deal. I just wanted to share the moment, since you all are what made it happen.

I'm hungry, but mostly, I just really like this smiley: .

Here are some other things I thought of.

For some reason, I thought of the phrase "autumnal tree leaves," during my Genesis class, and it became a little joke with my friend Renee. I think it fits well with the current picture of me on myspace, so here's the short poem I wrote later in the same class:

Come away to the world of autumnal tree leaves
The elegant new world of beauty

The world of crimson and amber
Of falling
Of crackling beneath the feet.

Let us embark.

I wrote that poem for no one in particular. I just wanted to incorporate the phrases "autumnal tree leaves," and "elegant new world" in a poem, but consider it as an invitation to all of you to enjoy the great outdoors. It will brighten your day and put a smile on your face. It will warm your heart and still your soul. It will take your breath away and make you fall in love with your Maker.

______________________________

On a recent Monday morning, I was sitting outside at the McConnell Foundation (Lema Ranch). I gazed at the willow trees--their green leaves augmented by strands of yellow. I was in a place where I needed to be with God, and He met me in a way different than He had before.

I came up with a new way to read scripture when I encountered Lamentations 3, and it basically works like this: you read a line at a time and paraphrase it for your situation. This can be really dangerous, since it lets you take things out of context, so be careful! (In fact, I'm not sure if verse 19 is meant to be saying that the author is going to continue remembering his pain, or just currently remembers it, but I definitely took it to mean that he was going to be intentional in remembering what pain he went through, so if that's out of context or inaccurate, sorry God). Here is what I did with Lamentations 3:

I can't let go of the affliction
I will remember my wandering
I will never forget the bitterness
I will ever taste the gall

As I reflect on these things, how can my soul help but be weary?
How can I escape melancholy?

But it hits me like lightning!
Like a flash to my mind.
And therefore I have hope

Because of love,
Because of a great love,
Because of the Lord's great love,
I am not consumed.

For his compassions never fail.
They never cease
They never are silent
In the midst of any sorrow, He is merciful
His compassions never fail!

They are new every morning
every day, in every struggle

Great is your faithfulness.
You hold up my arms
When I am weak like Moses,
you come and lift my hands as Aaron and Hur.*

I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion,"
not anyone or anything else
He is all I need.
The Lord is my portion.

Therefore, I will wait for Him.

Speak, O Lord, for your servant is listening

_________________

*The Hebrew word for faithfulness is Emunah, and in the Old Testament, there is a story of the Israelites fighting a battle under Moses' leadership. As long as he kept his hands lifted, they were succeeding in battle. He grew tired though, and began to lower them. As he did, the Israelites began to lose the battle. But, Aaron and Hur came alongside Moses and held his arms up. The actual word used is emunah, and it means that they held his arms steadily. That's what faithfulness is--coming alongside and holding someone steady. My God loves to just hold me steadily, and so as the leaves fell, I fell for Him again.

Currently listening : In Between Dreams By Jack Johnson Release date: 01 March, 2005

MySpace blog: second half of that blog...work please!!!

I memorized Lamentations 3:19-24. It’s a powerful section and I am going to cling to it.

I remember my affliction and my wandering
the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them
and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind

and therfore I have hope:

Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "the Lord is my portion."
Therefore, I will wait for Him.

I think it says a lot that it’s OK to remember your hard times and let your soul be downcast, but turn to the LORD, and let Him be your portion. I almost wrote potion. Sweet, dude. Potion.

I changed a lot of my pictures because there were a few occasions for picture-taking this month. A few of those pictures are from Thanksgiving Day, with my family. I love them so much! But, they’re not the only people I’d give my life for. I think there are about 40 people I’d take a bullet for. I think I’ll make a little list someday.

I love kids, so I’m really thankful for my cousin Emily, who is 4. On Thanksgiving Day, I was helping her with some homework from her preschool. She’s just learning how to write, and it’s the sweetest thing ever. She has a Disney Princesses backpack, and my Aunt asked me which of the Princesses was my favorite. Usually I wouldn’t have an answer, but the night before, I strangely had a dream that I was Aladdin. Specifically that I was Aladdin from the Disney movie. So, of course, I said Jasmine was my favorite princess! Thanks for providing me with a timely answer, God!

My mom is Asian, and my Aunt is Hispanic, so when we have Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas dinner with my Dad’s side of the family, it’s a lot of fun, because we sit at the table of diversity! Someone in my family needs to marry someone who’s black, and another person needs to marry someone who is Native American, and then when we have our holidays, it will be like the United Nations. So, if you’re a black or native American girl who also has the perfect personality for me, please inquire within. Just kidding. I mean, maybe, but….aw, crap. I’m just going to quit while I’m ahead. I mean, I’m just going to quit since I’m so far behind that I should just quit.

I love sweaters.

I’m really happy right now. I’m not sure why. Oh crap, I’ve had some tea sitting in some water for about 45 minutes. Dang it.

Peet’s Gunpowder Tea tastes a bit like tobacco. Or gunpowder. Seriously. It’s a green tea. If you want to try it, come visit me, and I’ll give you some. Or, if you’re not one of the 40 people I’d die for, I’ll just let you sniff it, and move on. I want to write a dance song called “Sniff it and Move,” but that sounds like it would be drug-related.

I want to learn to play the harmonica. I want to learn to play the mandolin well enough that I can play Italian love songs for someone someday. If you’re a guy that can handle it, maybe I’ll play them for you! I want to learn to play the lap steel guitar. I want to learn to play the banjo—not that much, but maybe someday.

My life is like a book. God’s writing my story. Someday, He might write you into a bigger role. Someday, He’ll write in some new characters. Someday, He’ll write a love story. Someday, He’ll write in some serious conflicts. Someday, He’ll write in a resolution, and I’ll meet the Author and Finisher of my faith. Right now, I’m really excited about the next chapter and eagerly anticipating. I suppose that’s the reason for the happiness.

I listened to Damien Rice, Sigur Ros, Jack Johnson, Robert Randolph & the Family Band, and Hot Hot Heat while I wrote this.

But I was wearing my Switchfoot shirt. They’re about to be on TV (Leno). I don’t know why, but I also want to say I am wearing my clogs. Now I’m laughing at myself.

I posted this 7 times, then it finally worked. Then, it erased everything after the first verse of Lamentations, and included the last word of the blog, which was "ridiculous," so it looked like I was saying the verse was ridiculous, which I was not saying at all. Anyway, I ended up listening to the Switchfoot CD while I re-posted this. They were really good on Leno.

Currently listening : Nothing Is Sound By Switchfoot Release date: 13 September, 2005

MySpace blog: WEEEE'RE BAAACK!!!

Current mood: hopeful

So, as you all see, I disappeared for a month. My church, the Stirring, participated in a fast from noise for the month of November, called Vox Dei, which is Latin for “the Voice of God.” The point was to cut off all or a lot of entertainment in order to spend more time with God, and learn to hear what He had to say to us. I wasn’t planning on fasting myspace, but on the 2^nd, I really met with God during chapel at school, and decided to go for it. I’m actually writing a chunk of this blog after 2 AM on the day after Thanksgiving (the 25^th), so maybe I’m cheating, but this is my journaling for the day; I’m just doing it in a way that is more beneficial for my large reader base. Speaking of which, if this blog is as well-read as my previous entries, this will be the blog that generates my 10,000^th blog view. I think that should be noted, for some reason (like bragging ;)). Now it’s really early on the 26^th, and I’m ending the fast for myself.

In honor of this being the first blog in weeks, and my 151st post, and the one that provided the 350th kudo, and the 10,000th blog view, it will contain elements of what my blog is--funniness, serious stuff, theology, and hope at the end. When I really started blogging in early April, I was in a life situation very similar to where I am right now. As in more similar than anyone will ever know, because there are some things I don't tell everyone about, and there are some things about me that I don't really tell anyone about, and I like having secrets with God. He makes me smile more than anyone else, so He deserves my secrets

Here are some things I’ve learned in the last month:
Not going on myspace isn’t all that hard to do. I logged on a few times, but just to check messages/comments.
Safeway gas stations are delightful little environmentally-friendly, wind-powered bundles of joy!
Cigars are OK
Wine is less OK, but I could learn to like it
Beer is OK, but I don’t really think it’s all that exciting, and I may never drink it again
Girls are OK, but my sister is awesome! (and prettier than everyone else too)
My guy friends are awesome, but my brother is awesomer! And he has a really cool guitar!
I can write songs
Damien Rice is alright ;)
So is Dave Matthews
Donald Miller is freakin’ amazing. I’ve only read the Author’s Note of Through Painted Deserts, and I already cried. And I was sitting on the toilet when it happened :)

Things I am seriously pondering:

I think I want to move to South Africa next year. I’ve been fascinated with the country and people since my freshman year of High School. We studied the country for an eighth of the school year in my History class (“Humanities” was actually the name of the class). Also, I met an amazing couple, Merv and Abby Coetzee, who grew up in the country as “coloureds” under Apartheid. They started a camp in Cape Town in 2002, as an extension of Alliance Redwoods campground, where they are on staff. I have been wanting to go to help out with the camp since then, but I’ve been in college, and the camps always run from late November through the last week of December, since that is the summer season in the southern hemisphere. So, at the very least, I’d like to go help with the camp next year.

I also have been really interested in relief work for quite some time, and I’m going on a missions trip to New Orleans for that this spring break. So, maybe I’ll end up in South Africa for a longer time. It’s always (at least since 1999) blown me away that so many people die of AIDS daily in Africa, particularly in that country. Even huge disasters like the tsunami last year, or the huge earthquake in Pakistan in September really don’t kill that many people compared to the number of AIDS deaths in a year. I used to be really interested in doing something about all of that, and in the last 11 months, my interest in that has picked back up, particularly in the week of Thanksgiving. I was sitting in the doctor’s waiting room the other day, getting checked out for being sick for 5 weeks, and I saw a Time or Newsweek magazine that had a feature on epidemics, and I started crying. Then, the nurse called me, so I got snapped back to my “reality,” where I go to the doctor when I’m not even feeling that bad, and get a prescription “just in case,” that the Nurse Practitioner said I could take if I felt like it. All of that goes on while thousands die daily without any medical attention. The next day, I had the most food I’ve had in my life and it was one of the best Thanksgiving meals ever. I sit here and write this at 2:00 in the morning the day after Thanksgiving, and I plan on spending a bunch of money tomorrow on clothes for myself and presents for loved ones. I want to do that still, but I kind of feel bad when there are so many misfortunate people overseas. I just invested some money the other day in mutual funds. I don’t know why God chose me to be blessed financially, but He did, and I struggle through the decision of saving it for later and just wanting to give it to some charity.

I was at my home church’s Thanksgiving service, and I passed my sister a note that said it felt a bit like Garden State. I was at home seeing all these people I hadn’t seen in ages. Maybe it was more like Elizabethtown, since in that movie, everyone knew Orlando Bloom’s dad, just like everyone in the church knows my parents, since my dad is the pastor. Also, I was feeling pretty lame at that point in the week, but I don’t care to go into details, because I’m chugging along quite normally now. Anyway, during the service, I realized just how strong the connection between the Republican Party and the American church is. I still am a Republican, but I have always been an environmentalist, and really big on equality for everyone, and recently I’ve had this passion for social justice. I think there is a right way to go about all of those things, and no political party can accomplish those aims—I think Jesus Christ is the answer.

Tidbits:
I wrote a few songs and played a lot of piano and guitar while I was home for Thanksgiving. Christmas songs are the loveliest things one can play on the guitar. I also figured out some novel arrangements for some worship songs.

I've stated always writing my name as Joshua. I’ve decided that I’m going to use it as a reminder of the meaning, “the LORD saves.”

I’m going to be more fancy-free and try new things more frequently because our life on earth is ephemeral (yes, I used a thesaurus—it means brief or short-lived), and when you try new things, you find new passions. I tried a lot of new stuff while I was home for Thanksgiving, and while I didn’t enjoy most of those things, I finally like apple pie! I still don’t like any other pies (at least that I’ve had). Sometime in October, I tried green tea, and now I love it. I also am listening to a bunch of new music, which I got from my sister, because I realized that is legal, since we both are from the same household. There is the little issue about how she got all her music in the first place, but who’s checking? I’m not.

I want to be a renaissance man, and for being 21, I think I’m doing pretty well.

I saw some old people walking the other day, and I decided that when I’m 70 years old and I go for a walk with my wife, I am still going to hold her hand, because you never see old people holding hands, but they should.

I am going to just go all out and let my vocabulary flow through my writing. If my writing is loquacious, then just grab a dictionary.

I memorized Lamentations 3:19-24. It’s a powerful section and I am going to cling to it.

I hate myspace, it keeps erasing the second half of the blog, so I'll post it separately.

Currently listening : Elevator By Hot Hot Heat Release date: 05 April, 2005