MySpace Blog: more weekend fun and thoughts.

I forgot to mention that I like funerals more than weddings. Why? Certainty. At a funeral, you know what the outcome is. The person is dead. If they're a Christian and their family is too, then it often is a time of rejoicing in spite of the sadness of missing a loved one.

Weddings, on the other hand, are question marks. Will they stay married? And because of TV and movies, I always fear that either the bride or groom will not show up or will bail out at the altar. That never happens in real life, but I still worry about it at every wedding. Each part of the wedding increases my relief--the vows, the ring exchange, the kiss, and ultimately the pronunciation of man & wife.

Tonight I co-led worship with Nathan and Emily. I also found out that I will likely be stepping into full-time worship leading. Not right away, but that seems to be the intent. I'm totally content to take things one step at a time. So, if God has something else in mind, that's fine. But I also remember the first weird word of knowledge/prophecy that I experienced.

On March 15, 2003, I was at Whiskeytown Lake with some friends from home who were visiting Simpson for Genesis weekend. This guy and his girlfriend/wife were sitting in a lifeguard tower as we skipped rocks on the lake. He started talking to me (I think he was named jonathan; it's in my journal, but i'm too tired to check), and told me he had a vision of me taking a music class. He saw a book with notes on a page (I was in Music Theory at the time). He said I'd learn new instruments and start singing. He told me I would lead people in worship. It was crazy. March 16, 2003 was the first night of the Stirring. I first led worship (just a couple songs) at the Stirring on March 13, 2005. Since God's primary way of speaking to me is through His timing, I now see that God has anointed me to lead the Stirring in worship, especially for the Stirring. I realized that a few weeks ago, but didn't say anything. I mentioned last week in a blog that I'd share this when the time was right, so I am.

I've been leading worship in a home group for a couple years, and it totally developed that area of my ministry. I've definitely been playing new instruments (mandolin, programming on my computer that few people have heard). Tonight I led worship without being nervous. The second song I led was with a bunch of people from Risen King there, too, so there were probably well over 200 people there, so I got a bit nervous for a few seconds, then got over it. I was more nervous because Bill and Jill Randall were there. I don't really know why. It's the same reason that I refuse to sing in front of my dad. I think I'm scared of approval or those compliments that you get that you don't want, but if you don't get them, you feel miserable.

Having my own mix was so much better, and the mic and guitar being positioned physically low enough helped too. So, I'm running practice for the next few weeks, since Nate has already asked other people to lead those weeks, and possibly afterwards, I'm going to be leading without Nate.
After the Stirring, Eric, Rachael, Bethany and I went to In-N-Out and I also ran into Trevor and Aaron. Then Rachael, Bethany, and I met up with Levi at Caldwell Park to climb the big train bridge. I probably just mentioned half the people who will read this blog.

It was so windy and cold. There were a lot of cop cars going through (like a whole 2 of them in 10 minutes, but we still freaked out), so we abandoned our illegal (we think so at least) plans. We ended up hanging out under the Benton Dr./Court St. Bridge on the south side of the River. I guess it was more between that bridge and the Diestelhorf bridge (they're about 30 or 40 feet apart). We were just sitting on the river's edge and enjoying the stars, the lights and the occasional bat (Bethany was not enjoying the bat), and we were hit with 50ish mile per hour gusts and some dust. That was fun. I was thinking about demons and the Spirit the whole time it was windy, but I didn't say anything.

On the way back across Diestelhorf Bridge, I looked at the stars so long that my neck got sore. I said I wished I had eyes on top of my head just for looking at the sky. I think I've thought about and looked at the sky more times in the last 3 months than in the rest of my life. I kept looking up despite my sore neck and stumbled across the bridge. I saw my star again tonight. That's cool (adjective issues again), I have a star now. No one else can have it till I get married. Maybe my kids will get to have it someday too. Maybe not. Levi found 2 satellites in about 20 seconds. They were going opposite directions. I saw a shooting star that no one else saw. I think God likes me. Not more than anyone else, but now when I see a single shooting star, it has so much meaning. very cool. Very radiant. Very Radical. Radically Radiant. When you try to combine Radical and Radiant, you get Rad-ical or Rad-iant. not that cool. Here comes another, similar word:
Ratiani Out.